Aug 052010

Henry is trying to brainwash me with tales of FBI, imprisonment, and confiscation of all phones and Internet for the rest of my life. I guess he doesn’t like it when his life partner, Manuel, leaves him messages. (Often while Henry is sitting right next to me.)

No matter, Manuel had other people to call. Like Elizabeth, upon longtime LiveJournal friends Dawny Darko and Notbatman’s request. I try not to think too much about the calls ahead of time, preferring instead to just dive right in. I’m sure that’s not noticeable at all.

Meanwhile, Henry was in the kitchen making dinner I was laughing so hard, I kept stumbling into the kitchen and falling into him.

“It’s really not that funny,” he said, all disgusted and bothered. “You’re such a child.”

I know! It’s NOT that funny! But there’s something retarded going on in my brain that makes these things the funniest things in the world to me. And while I was laughing, and while Henry was considering pouring a pot of boiling water on me, I realized I forgot something in the message.

“I have to call back,” I informed Henry.

“No, you really don’t,” he sang from the kitchen.

But this time, she answered! I was laughing so hard at this point that I was in danger of sitting in a puddle of urine.

I don’t know why I kept saying “good eve.” But I kept imagining a phonograph playing in the background and I was wearing a velvet gown in the sultry shade of emerald.  Elizabeth was clearly wearing Mother’s girdle.

At least Elizabeth was nice enough to wish me good luck.