Dec 15 2007

I’ll be the big weenah

Category: really bad ideas

After much careful deliberation, a considerable amount of mulling, and a brief engagement with hemming and hawing, I have officially decided to participate in No Name Calling Week. This futility workout will begin on January 21, at which point I will shelve my Tourette-ish need to call Henry an ass-fucking moronic dick-shitting piece of trailer trash with a second-grade level spelling proficiency who washes his underwear in a creek. I will not tell Christina she’s a dumb fucking fake Mexican lesbo God-fearing lame rapping banana-stuffed cunt. I will not call my child a Little Asshole.

Luckily, I can still punch the shit out of Janna.

I will be monitored all week by Henry, Christina, Janna and I guess I’ll have to tell some people at work, since that’s going to be a very crucial chunk of the week.

“I’m going to win,” I boasted to Henry.

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“Somehow I don’t think the point is to win a prize,” he said, yet another ounce of his faith in me fluttering off to Heaven.

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I think I might be biting off more than I can chew. I also think this is intended for school kids.

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19 comments

19 Comments so far

  1. cantcme99 December 15th, 2007 7:17 pm

    That’s okay, Erin. You can be your own school for that week. You can do it! Does this mean you’re going to be taking out your frustrations by hitting me more than usual?

  2. Tart December 18th, 2007 7:22 pm

    YES!

  3. Tart December 18th, 2007 7:22 pm

    can i also slice you?

  4. cynthia December 15th, 2007 8:57 pm

    if you “win”
    i’ll send you a prize.

  5. Bueno Mexicana December 15th, 2007 9:01 pm

    oh- don’t worry…
    i’m sure you won’t have to do that.

  6. Bueno Mexicana December 15th, 2007 9:02 pm

    this will be one of the hardest weeks of your life.

    good luck! :)

    i’ll try not to be so moronic. that might help.

  7. Tart December 15th, 2007 9:43 pm

    FINE, you have been pardoned.

  8. priest December 16th, 2007 4:12 am

    so now what happens when you do call anyone a name…..does somebody have a remote that makes a collar give you a shock or something?

  9. Tart December 16th, 2007 2:19 pm

    Oh, you would love that!

  10. Bueno Mexicana December 17th, 2007 10:23 am

    … see why i don’t trust this guy?

    S&M talk. shame shame, collin.

  11. Tart December 18th, 2007 7:23 pm

    But I like S&M!

    ?

  12. Karen December 16th, 2007 11:52 am

    Oh, come on. We’re all just little school kids at heart.

  13. Tart December 16th, 2007 2:19 pm

    We are?

  14. Amelia December 18th, 2007 9:07 am

    I’ve been trying my damnedest to refrain from complaining lately. I have so much less to say. Daaaang.

  15. Tart December 18th, 2007 7:25 pm

    I complain a ton, too:/

  16. Lead Balloon December 18th, 2007 6:53 pm

    You’ve never called me a mean name. :(

  17. Tart December 18th, 2007 7:24 pm

    ‘Cuz I don’t want you to know think that I like you!

  18. Lead Balloon December 18th, 2007 8:22 pm

    Oh come on. Like it would kill you to call me a knobsucking poopsmacking gayrubbing beefstick fag-o-matic. Just once!

    PS Tell Hoov that not being able to reply to replies on this thing is just weird.

  19. Tart December 18th, 2007 11:38 pm

    I wholeheartedly agree with you on that — I like everything about my new home but the damn comment feature. Fuck you, Henry!

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