Jan 282008

Returning from the restroom, I commented on how my new jeans drag when I walk. "It’s like they were made for long people," I complained.

A few seconds of silence passed and then Eleanore said, "Tall. Tall people, babe."

Then Collin killed my poinsettia. I gave him one job and he failed. Done went and kilt my flower.

But then Kim brought out a cookie cake for Bob’s birthday and I was all, "Ooh, pretty flaming cookie with icing" and then it took Bob longer than an emphysemic ninety-year-old to blow out the candles while I bounced from foot to foot in sugar anticipation.

I was sad to discover, after the cookie-eating festivities dwindled down to a dull roar, that Collin deleted the picture I took of him and my dead plant. I liked it because it was a great comparison shot of the different genera of patheticness that exist in the world.

I tried to sneak a picture of him from the other side of his cubicle wall, but I’m not long enough.


  14 Responses to “pressing work news”

  1. k, I am very tall and my pants were def. made for LONG people. I went for a walk in the snowy street and came back looking like I just waded through a river. Apparently I’m not long enough for my tall girl pants.

  2. you’re long enough for me baby.

  3. I feel your pain. I’m 5’3″. I was given these beautiful skirts that are meant to be mid-calf and knee-high. I’m not much of a skirt person, for one, plus they don’t look that good sweeping the ground.


  4. Dull people say “tall.” Poets say “long.”

  5. long pants especially suck in the rain.

    that plant is tragic.

  6. But infants are measured in LENGTH, even after they’re walking! No fair, semantics!

Say it don't spray it.

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