Jan 28

pressing work news

Category: Reporting from Work

Returning from the restroom, I commented on how my new jeans drag when I walk. "It’s like they were made for long people," I complained.

A few seconds of silence passed and then Eleanore said, "Tall. Tall people, babe."

Then Collin killed my poinsettia. I gave him one job and he failed. Done went and kilt my flower.

But then Kim brought out a cookie cake for Bob’s birthday and I was all, "Ooh, pretty flaming cookie with icing" and then it took Bob longer than an emphysemic ninety-year-old to blow out the candles while I bounced from foot to foot in sugar anticipation.

I was sad to discover, after the cookie-eating festivities dwindled down to a dull roar, that Collin deleted the picture I took of him and my dead plant. I liked it because it was a great comparison shot of the different genera of patheticness that exist in the world.

I tried to sneak a picture of him from the other side of his cubicle wall, but I’m not long enough.

 

14 comments

14 Comments so far

  1. Rachy January 28th, 2008 11:13 pm

    k, I am very tall and my pants were def. made for LONG people. I went for a walk in the snowy street and came back looking like I just waded through a river. Apparently I’m not long enough for my tall girl pants.

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart January 28th, 2008 11:37 pm

    How tall are you!?!

    I’m 5’4″.

  3. Rachy January 29th, 2008 12:45 am

    I’m 5’11”!

  4. Tuna Tar-Tart January 29th, 2008 1:17 am

    Supermodel!!

  5. cynthia January 29th, 2008 12:06 am

    you’re long enough for me baby.

  6. Tuna Tar-Tart January 29th, 2008 1:17 am

    that’s all i need to get by. <33

  7. Pynk January 29th, 2008 6:13 am

    I feel your pain. I’m 5’3″. I was given these beautiful skirts that are meant to be mid-calf and knee-high. I’m not much of a skirt person, for one, plus they don’t look that good sweeping the ground.

    .

  8. Tuna Tar-Tart January 29th, 2008 5:08 pm

    Ugh, that’s annoying! Especially in winter when you end up with salt-rings around the bottom of your pants.

  9. elaine January 29th, 2008 11:11 am

    Dull people say “tall.” Poets say “long.”

  10. Tuna Tar-Tart January 29th, 2008 5:07 pm

    Thank you!

  11. Bueno Mexicana January 29th, 2008 11:49 am

    long pants especially suck in the rain.

    that plant is tragic.

  12. Tuna Tar-Tart January 29th, 2008 5:07 pm

    The whole situation is stewed in tragedy.

  13. Octavia March 9th, 2012 2:21 pm

    But infants are measured in LENGTH, even after they’re walking! No fair, semantics!

  14. Tuna Tar-Tart March 9th, 2012 9:32 pm

    This is why we’re friends!!

Leave a comment