Feb 262008

I did a really Big Girl thing today — I made my own dinner to take to work. It was a delightful entree consisting of two slices of fifty billion grain bread (jetted here directly from France; the cellophane bag promises that it’s straight from a hearty hearth and I believe it), one hearty slab of savory mozzarella, and a couple shreds (the slice kept ripping when I tried to peel it out of the deli bag) of the most ambrosial American cheese your tongue ever did molest. Picture all of this off-set by the tangiest helping of dijon-flavored soy-mayo ever to sink into those tiny pockets in bread.

It was then plated with lots of love and care in fine tupperware with a bright yellow banana to add some flair to the presentation.

When I finished, I took off my toppling chef’s hat and stood back to admire my work. I bet Bobby Flay does that too.

But halfway here I realized I left it on the dining room table. I keep texting and email Henry, begging him to bring it out to me, but he won’t reply. I was nice at first, but then I started in all caps (I WANT MY SANDWICH!) and now I’m threatening to hold the damn Girl Scout cookies I bought from one of the dayshit employees (FOR HENRY) hostage.

Collin, more Pro-Henry than ever, doesn’t seem to think Henry should risk his life driving my lost sandwich to me. Why, because it’s snowing a little?  "It’s just a sandwich," he chided. But it’s MY sandwich. I nearly gave myself callouses in its preparation. I might die if I don’t get to savor the amazing craftmanship that went into building that true artisan sandwich. I’m so upset that I’m chewing on my hair.

Why do I feel like Chooch is probably eating it right now?

  10 Responses to “Sandwich Ransom”

  1. Plus, you’ll be super hungry with out it.

    It’s too bad we couldn’t turn around and go back to rescue your delicious sandwich.

  2. God that sandwich sounds good!

    I used to be the queen of making great lunches like that a nd then leafing them on the car seat to go rancid in the Georgia sun.

  3. So…did you get your sandwich? I am very concerned about this, especially since a bandanna was involved.

  4. That sandwich sounds awesome!

    I used to work at Subway (long long ago) and I still consider myself a Sandwich Artist. =P I haven’t experimented too much with different cheeses though (dill Havarti is the wildest I’ve gotten). That soy mayo sounds VERY interesting!!

    I hope you have many yummy sandwiches in your future. Don’t give up, it sounds like you may have a talent for this! =)

    • I actually make pretty half-assed sandwiches, lol. Sometimes I practically ball it up because I’m in such a hurry. I like it better when Henry makes it!

      Dill havarti is one of my faves! Sometimes if I’m good, Henry makes me grilled cheese using that and an artichoke heart on pumpernickel and it’s sooooo good!

      I also like grilled cheese and jelly, lol.

  5. that sandwich sounds better than pb and cheese, at least.
    you weirdo.

    what kind of cookies??


      Samaos and Tagalongs. Apparently I don’t like Girl Scout cookies anymore which is a very good thing. I had one of each and wasn’t very moved to have any more. Thank god!

Say it don't spray it.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.