Earlier in the night, Bob asked me what a scene kid was so I told him. Then he started looking at pictures of scene boys and was thoroughly disgusted. He’d be quiet for a few minutes, but then suddenly he’d think of another reason to hate them.

"They look so stupid. Why would anyone try so hard to look like that?" I briefly mentioned scene queens, and how there’s a pack of them that are kind of like the Paris Hiltons of sceneland. I found a website dedicated to them, featuring profiles and a gallery, and he was quiet for a little bit so I knew he was taking it all in.

Every once in awhile he’d say one of their names out loud and then look over at me. I felt like he was waiting for me to say, "Yeah, I know her. We carpooled to a Fall Out Boy show back in oh-four."

Two hours later,  I get an email saying, "I think I like scene chicks. It’s the dudes that look beat as hell."

I told him to go to a Cobra Starship show and he’s bound to meet a clique of them. "The thing with scene girls is that they probably only like scene boys, though, huh?" he asked. He looked genuinely sad, too.

I’m going to buy him a white belt and some skinny girl jeans. Maybe a nice fitted hoodie with neon skulls on it. Fix him up proper-like so he can grab himself up a scene girl. (Though I think he’ll be sorely disappointed when he realizes there’s a difference between ‘scene girl’ and ‘scene queen.’ Oh well, we’ll laugh later.)