Mar 052008
 

Before I left for work, Henry emerged from the kitchen with a plate of food.

"Oooh, pineapple!" I exclaimed, pawing for one. It was warm. Mmm, baked pineapple! A surprise midday dessert, how thoughtful of him.

I popped it in my mouth and confusion was immediate. "Is this meat??" I screamed, slack-jawed.

"It’s polenta, you retard. And it’s for Chooch, not you," Henry said as he shouldered past me.

"But is it meat?" I cried again.

This led to a boring explanation of what polenta is, most of which I zoned out of.  "And you better like it," he said at the end of his lecture, "because it’s what you’re having for dinner."

I’m eating it right now, and I think I’m falling in obsession with it. I was leery at first, don’t be mistaken! Two rubbery blocks of cornmeal doused with a red sauce, shredded cheese and mushrooms? Ew. I’m scared when Henry melts cheese atop of his meals, because I assume he’s trying to hide something from me, mask some flavor he thinks I’d be adverse to. The dressed-up planks of mush were buffeted by a southwestern corn mix (straight from the freezer, huh Henry?) with ONIONS. Henry, you asshole.

Collin seemed just as intrigued by it as I was and kept asking me all these questions like I’m a portable Food Network search engine. The best I could do was tell him it had the consistency and texture of a congealed and gelatinous corn pudding.

It has good form, nice spring. I want to be sculpting with it now.

I feel like I want to fry it up with strawberries. (I almost said broiled but then I realized I don’t know what that is.) What’s the best way to eat this junk, anyway? 

  16 Responses to “Food Stuff”

  1. We always have cornbread with chili, I like to crumble it up into the chili so it makes it really thick and yummy. I also like it just plain with butter but only when it’s fresh from the oven, it’s too dry once it’s a couple hours old. Is polenta like cornbread? I’ve always been curious about it, they’re both made with cornmeal.

  2. my grandma used to mix with with chickpeas and other kinds of veggies, then put sauce on top and bake it. The edges get a bit crispy, too.

  3. I just Googled it. It looks like scrambled eggs! O_o I think crunchy edges would be a good thing. And I agree with the chickpeas, they make everything yummy!

  4. Fried polenta, with mushrooms!

    Basically cut the squares of polenta or triangles or whatever and fry them in a little olive oil. Crispy edges!! Yum. Marinate different kinds of mushrooms, a little garlic, and some fresh herbs of your choice ( oregano and thyme for me) in a little balsamic vinegar…I also use onions but you leave them out, ha ha,,….saute them, and when they’re done add a little bit of cream in at the end. MMMMMMMmmmm Serve over fried polenta.h

    I love polenta.

    • That sounds so good!!

      I’m still not sure how I feel about the taste of it, but I couldn’t stop eating it last night regardless. I think it was the texture that kept me coming back. It’s so weird!!

  5. My preferred preparation of polenta is NOT AT ALL.

    Grossssss.

  6. For what it’s worth, I don’t know what polenta is, either.

  7. i’m scared of polenta.

    like i am of most things you enjoy consuming.

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