Mar 5 2008

Food Stuff

Category: polenta

Before I left for work, Henry emerged from the kitchen with a plate of food.

"Oooh, pineapple!" I exclaimed, pawing for one. It was warm. Mmm, baked pineapple! A surprise midday dessert, how thoughtful of him.

I popped it in my mouth and confusion was immediate. "Is this meat??" I screamed, slack-jawed.

"It’s polenta, you retard. And it’s for Chooch, not you," Henry said as he shouldered past me.

"But is it meat?" I cried again.

This led to a boring explanation of what polenta is, most of which I zoned out of.  "And you better like it," he said at the end of his lecture, "because it’s what you’re having for dinner."

I’m eating it right now, and I think I’m falling in obsession with it. I was leery at first, don’t be mistaken! Two rubbery blocks of cornmeal doused with a red sauce, shredded cheese and mushrooms? Ew. I’m scared when Henry melts cheese atop of his meals, because I assume he’s trying to hide something from me, mask some flavor he thinks I’d be adverse to. The dressed-up planks of mush were buffeted by a southwestern corn mix (straight from the freezer, huh Henry?) with ONIONS. Henry, you asshole.

Collin seemed just as intrigued by it as I was and kept asking me all these questions like I’m a portable Food Network search engine. The best I could do was tell him it had the consistency and texture of a congealed and gelatinous corn pudding.

It has good form, nice spring. I want to be sculpting with it now.

I feel like I want to fry it up with strawberries. (I almost said broiled but then I realized I don’t know what that is.) What’s the best way to eat this junk, anyway? 

16 comments

16 Comments so far

  1. Jenn March 5th, 2008 10:17 pm

    We always have cornbread with chili, I like to crumble it up into the chili so it makes it really thick and yummy. I also like it just plain with butter but only when it’s fresh from the oven, it’s too dry once it’s a couple hours old. Is polenta like cornbread? I’ve always been curious about it, they’re both made with cornmeal.

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart March 5th, 2008 10:40 pm

    Every so often, it would remind me of cornbread. I like cornbread better but I want to keep playing with this polenta stuff.

  3. anonymous March 5th, 2008 10:24 pm

    my grandma used to mix with with chickpeas and other kinds of veggies, then put sauce on top and bake it. The edges get a bit crispy, too.

  4. Tuna Tar-Tart March 5th, 2008 10:41 pm

    I’m going to try that. Thanks!

    I love chickpeas.

  5. Tuna Tar-Tart March 7th, 2008 10:41 pm

    P.S. Did you know our friend Ryan made it on the LJ stupid_free community?

    http://community.livejournal.com/stupid_free/962005.html

  6. Jenn March 5th, 2008 10:43 pm

    I just Googled it. It looks like scrambled eggs! O_o I think crunchy edges would be a good thing. And I agree with the chickpeas, they make everything yummy!

  7. Tuna Tar-Tart March 5th, 2008 11:12 pm

    When Henry made it for Chooch, he had syrup on it, so it was real breakfast-y. Polenta is intriguing.

  8. merrymerry March 6th, 2008 12:03 am

    Fried polenta, with mushrooms!

    Basically cut the squares of polenta or triangles or whatever and fry them in a little olive oil. Crispy edges!! Yum. Marinate different kinds of mushrooms, a little garlic, and some fresh herbs of your choice ( oregano and thyme for me) in a little balsamic vinegar…I also use onions but you leave them out, ha ha,,….saute them, and when they’re done add a little bit of cream in at the end. MMMMMMMmmmm Serve over fried polenta.h

    I love polenta.

  9. Tuna Tar-Tart March 6th, 2008 11:02 am

    That sounds so good!!

    I’m still not sure how I feel about the taste of it, but I couldn’t stop eating it last night regardless. I think it was the texture that kept me coming back. It’s so weird!!

  10. Amelia March 6th, 2008 9:00 am

    My preferred preparation of polenta is NOT AT ALL.

    Grossssss.

  11. Tuna Tar-Tart March 6th, 2008 12:59 pm

    You made me laugh. :)

  12. Alyson Hell March 6th, 2008 10:14 am

    For what it’s worth, I don’t know what polenta is, either.

  13. Tuna Tar-Tart March 6th, 2008 1:00 pm

    Polenta is a very confusing concept. I mean, I ate it and I still don’t understand it!

  14. Bueno Mexicana March 7th, 2008 6:11 pm

    i’m scared of polenta.

    like i am of most things you enjoy consuming.

  15. Tuna Tar-Tart March 7th, 2008 6:35 pm

    you are such a baby.

    remember how excited you were to tell me that you ate some “exotic” salad when you and Sylvia were out that one night?

  16. Bueno Mexicana March 7th, 2008 7:38 pm

    yeah, well…
    i’m always looking for new ways to impress you.

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