Mar 032021

For the first time in a year, I’ve allowed myself to feel the TINIEST SPARK OF HOPE over the promise that all US adults will be able to get vaccinated by the end of May. I’m just really tired of being so doom & gloom and purposely pessimistic in order to prevent let downs and I just want a moment of hope.

Cautious optimism.


And maybe because it’s now March, which is always (until last year) historically a good mental month for me (except for that time I tried to kill myself in 2000 but I digress), and maybe it’s because today was sunny and in the 50s and I didn’t cry at all, but I just felt a sudden jolt of THIS WILL END AT SOME POINT giddiness. So I started thinking, “Erin, what are the first things you are going to do when it’s safe to do the things again?” and my mind exploded like a Gallagher watermelon, because SO MANY THINGS!

I want to go to Kennywood! I want to go to as many amusement parks, post-vaccination, as possible! I won’t even complain about standing in line! I won’t publicly fight with Henry when overtaken by hanger and then demand that we leave (it’s always a bluff though). I won’t whine about looking “old and ugly” in the on-ride photos! JUST STUFF ME IN A FUCKING ROLLER COASTER!

I want to eat in a restaurant!!!! All of the restaurants!!!! Which one first!?!? Zenith? BLUE FLAME?? TILLIES???

I want to go on a stupid road trip to see stupid roadside attractions and I promise I won’t even complain when Henry books us a room in the Cecil Hotel – Wisconsin branch. And I won’t bitch when Henry pulls over at the 87th rest stop to piss. Or when Chooch mouths off from the backseat.

I want to see my brother Corey’s new house!!! And go on bizarre day trips with him to wineries and Amish country, where we will start cracking up uncontrollably and everyone will hate us!!

I want to go to the Hollywood Theater and see a horror movie with Chooch and Janna! And sit in the balcony with a bottle of Ramune!!!

I want to have breakfast at Pamela’s with Jeannie and Wendy!!!

I want to see the Armor For Sleep reunion show that got canceled last summer and has been continuously rescheduled!!! AND MAYBE KPOP WILL COME TO AMERICA AGAIN?? MAYBE I CAN FINALLY SEE SHINEE?!!?

I want to have a party!!! Possibly not even THEMED, just a regular fucking “Come hang out & let me look at you!!” party!! THAT SOUNDS WEIRD AND I DON’T CARE. I MISS THE FACES OF MY FRIENDS.

I want to go to Sugar Spell and EAT MY ICE CREAM INSIDE and talk to the lovely owners!!!

I want the death count to stop going up!!!! Which is why even though I could have been doing a lot of these things for the last year, I have opted to stay home!

Oh dear lord, I am so ready. I am not thriving. I know I’m not alone in that corner. I’m not a super social person, and while I can’t complain about the convenience and comfort of working from home, I miss seeing all of my friends in the office and going on lunch break walks. (I DO NOT MISS THE TROLLEY THOUGH.) So I think even just getting back into a daily routine will GREATLY elevate my mindset.

And I’m ready for the day when we can viably and safely reschedule our Germany/Netherlands/Belgium trip because our refunded $$$ is doing the equivalent of a Facebook poke to me everyday. YES I KNOW YOU ARE THERE AND YES I AM DYING TO SPEND THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

This was in my Korean practice tonight FML.

My entire basis of existing is built around “going somewhere” and I have felt so lost this past year. Obviously, if I have to do this shit for another fucking year, I will. BUT I WILL NOT BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.

Man, imagine if actual professionals who believed in science were in charge when this first happened.

Oh well. Here are some pictures of my cats.

Peace out, pee spout. (I JUST MADE THAT UP DON’T STEAL IT.)


Say it don't spray it.

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