Eleanore’s not here tonight, which is a blessing (it’s quiet!) and a curse (it’s quiet!) all at once. I’m not missing the way she tapdances upon my nerves, but now there’s NO ONE sitting near me so I can’t swivel in my seat and start talking.
Except to myself.
So I took a picture of myself which I’m going to print out and tape up in front of me to make the conversations more legit.
My friend Amelia sent me a surprise package today which completely made me squeal. It came at the best time, too — I was just leaving for work when the mail girl hurled it upon my porch. Asshole.
Hidden under a mound of that sparkly silver ribbon stuff that my cats love to eat then regurgitate was pretty much a mother lode of odds and ends; in other words: stuff that someone weird like me would covet. In addition to a black baby doll, a pair of doll arms, a roll of b&w 120 film (which I needed!) and two small handmade notebooks (scribbling has already commenced) was a giant gummi heart, the kind of delicious treat that I’ve always wanted a Valentine to place into my outstretched hands, perhaps with a pack of Garbage Pail Kids for that extra special touch.
The back of the package says:
THUMP THUMP BEAT BEAT
MY HEART FOR YOU
THAT’S OH SO SWEET.
Who doesn’t want that?? Skinheads, animal sacrificers, and Kathie Lee, that’s who.
So now instead of doing actual work, I’ll be overdosing on candy organs and sticking doll parts in things, which is much better than Thursday night, when I listened to Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge* for six hours straight and dreamt of slowly draining the blood from my veins. Thanks, Amelia!
(*I know, what the fuck, right? More proof that I’m secretly sixteen.)
aw you look so sad! i wish i worked with you. then you would have someone to talk to!
That would be fun! I wonder how long it would take for me to get on you nerves. Lol.
Wow! What a cool package!! Yay Amelia!
Did you love Garbage Pail Kids, too? I think my mom threw all of mine away.
I loved GPK!! I used to peel them off and stick them to the bookshelf behind our TV and my mom got so pissed!
Amelia is awesome. I was having a crappy day prior to that!
You’re welcome, dearest! I’m so glad it arrived at a good time. Yay!
Chooch has claimed the doll arms and the bird!
If you stick a skewer or something into the underside of that bird you can put him in the ground and his wings will spin when the wind blows!
Smart, funny, AND pretty???
1st of all- you’re so pretty!
2ndly- what an awesome package!!!!!
3rdly- there’s nothing wrong with being 16.
you HAVE to say that because you’re my bff. everyone knows i’m fug.