Tried doing this earlier for Andrea, but something about the pickles make them stick-retardant. HMM…Maybe all that brine-eriffic moisture.

Mmm, MOIST. So they kept sliding down my face.

Then Alisha! She can be brilliant sometimes. Alisha suggested, “If you have needle and thread, we can string them up and hang them from your glasses.”

I knew I had needle and thread because just the other night, I was watching The Real World while sewing all the holes my son put in the couch’s slipcover with his scissors. When am I going to learn to toss those scissors out with the Monday night trash.

So hours later, Alisha strung those booger-y bitches up for me and Corey attached them to my glasses. Unfortunately, I had switched out my glasses hours ago for contacts, so I got to take this picture with double vision.

I’M REALLY THIS SAD IN REAL LIFE.