May 022008

Awhile back, I had the moronic idea of slapping together a photo shoot because I apparently really like torturing myself with projects that don’t amount to anything in the long run.

I placed an ad on Craigslist and several girls responded. I emailed back and forth with some of them and they seemed very cool and eager to do  this. They understood that it wasn’t for some glamour magazine spread, but perhaps they’d walk away with new pics for their MySpaces, who knew.

Then something happened. Something by the name of Chuck. He responded with great zeal and boasted that he’s been known to slip into a dress on ocassion and he’d gladly slap on some lipstick too if I wanted. I was like, sure whatever dude, just please show up.

Chuck began emailing me every day, like the cyberspace version of my Aunt Sharon, offering little suggestions here and there. There would always be a sentence starting with "What if…." Some of his ideas were cool, but then he was starting to get too alt porn on me.
I ended up canceling the shoot because the weather was shitty, but Chuck asked if we could meet at the location and go over some ideas, get to know each other, etc. Of course, I made Henry come too. Chuck showed up wearing a Steelers pullover and ballet flats on his sixty-year-old man feet. Dude, Chuck was OLD.
He was nice, though. We tossed around some ideas, yet they all seemed to veer into the direction HE wanted to take it. "We can make the girls wear mustaches. Let’s dress like fairies. Let’s be naked." <—Chuck’s ideas.
Then he told me I was weird and I was like, "Wow, I’ve officially hit rock bottom."
Afterward, he began emailing me about this nineteen year old model he knows named Jeanne. Jeanne is into alt porn and lingerie. I kept reminding Chuck that I wasn’t trying to get all Suicide Girls with this. I didn’t even need a real model, just a BODY willing to put an animal mask over their face. Bottom line. He kept trying to get me to call Jeanne and I kept saying, "Yo Chuck, bro, listen up — I don’t even call my FRIENDS. No way am I calling some stranger to talk about some dumb ass pitchure takin’ idea I had."
So Chuck played the middle man and tells me, "Jeanne is concerned there are too many girls that will be there. Would you be willing to stay after and just shoot Jeanne and me?" Oh, I’d love to. LOVE TO. Because that’s what would truly make my world turn, taking racy pics of you, Chuck. Of YOU.
Finally, last week, I sent out an email to him, one of my fake addresses, and two of Christina’s, stating that straits are so dire that I was forced to get a second job, leaving me with NO FREE TIME. No photo shoot, sorries.
He replied immediately and said that’s too bad, but he’s also free on Fridays and Mondays.
I ignored him.
He emailed again and asked if he could email the other "models" to see if they want to work with him on his bizarre genderbending assignment.
I ignored him, so he emailed my fake address and Christina’s two addresses anyway.
I was one of the people who was going to work with Erin at the photo shoot this Sunday that was cancelled.  If any of you would be interested in possibly working with me in the future please send a reply to this email.  I’ve basically been into gender identification stuff.  anything weird and pulls ones focus as to how gender is socially viewed.  Sometimes it involves full crossdressing , 50% crossdressing , or maybe just 33 1/3 % crossdressing or poking fun at how gender is usually viewed. I love the 40’s fashion look so i get involved with that a little.

Erin is a great girl with a lot of talent and I wanted to work with her but being that this was just for fun she was unable to commit.  From time to time photographers contact me with an interest in doing a shoot with me and I was just contacted by a professional photographer yesterday who is interested.  If any of you are interested in doing some professional work for your portfolio and also helping me out with some of my stuff just let me know.

if i don’t hear back from you i promise i won’t bother you any more.
Then he emailed me asking to borrow my sacred tutu that Merry made me.
I ignored him.
Finally today he emailed me again:
Hi Erin,
Needless to say I’m a little disappointed about the cancellation of the shoot but I understand and under the same circumstances I would have done the same thing.

I was just thinking, your photo projects seem like a lot of fun and you have not only the photographic skills and talent but you seem to be responsible and a pretty good organizer.  You should try to pull some girls together for a shoot but charge them for you time and a cd.  If you got three girls and charged them $20 for your time plus $5 for the cd that’s $25 a piece and if you got 3 girls together for the shoot that would be a total of $75.  That’s still not a lot of money but I think anyone who was looking for a free shoot can fork out $25.

The other thing is, I ran across this article a while back about this female photographer who photographs nude men. These’s nothing illegeal or immoral going on.  She’s been doing it for 25 years and she’s married.  I’m sure there is a market for that in Pittsburgh.  Men are  basically exhibitionists. Maybe it sounds sleazy but I think it’s pretty cool.  You could probably make some pretty good money doing that. Judge for yourself from the article.

I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER, nor do I have the credentials to pretend to be even close to one. This was supposed to be for fun. I would feel like an asshole making people pay me when I can’t guarantee that anything is even going to turn out! I’m using toy cameras for Christ’s sake. And why does he keep trying to lure me into the world of nudity?
Unable to ignore him any longer, I replied and told him of these concerns, and also reminded him that my tutu was not storebought, but something that is very precious to me, so no he cannot borrow it. I also told him that unfortunately, my desire to follow through with this project in the future has been diminished because what started out as a fun thing has been weighed down by too much stress and too many details that have veered away from my original concept and vision.
I got an email back saying that it’s OK, he understands and that he’s buying a yellow baby doll dress today and if he paid me $50 would I photograph him in it?
Bob brought up the horrifying possibilty that Chuck might still show up on Sunday, since he lives so close. "What if he brings his own people and tries to steal your idea, and then sees you and everyone else there? You’ll have to tell him the truth then."
I considered this for a moment. "No, I’d still lie." It’s like sit-com in me, I’m telling you. Even when I want to tell the truth in these ridiculous situations, I find myself weaving alternate truths. It’s what happens when I panic. I’d make a great President.
I don’t have a problem with cross dressers or nudity or old people who are into both of those things, but I DO have a problem with pushy people trying to take my reins from me. Back the fuck off, asshole. This is mama’s gig, go sit down.
Big Bob at work told me that the problem with being harmlessly weird like me is that it’s like a gateway for sickos. I’m not sure what he meant, and I don’t particularly think Chuck is a sicko, but I think the lesson I learned is to not post on Craigslist. Maybe stick with MySpace.

  15 Responses to “the chuck saga”

  1. YOU already have interesting ideas that don’t need naked ppl. to spruce them up.

    i’m sorry that he got so involved and made things weird…

    • it’s like, on one hand, i almost want to take his money and do it just to have photographical mementoes, but on the other — is it worth it? he’s really getting/got under my skin.

    • you really are good enough that you could get paid,
      in fact in that case… definitely SHOULD.

      but i dunno… he’s kind of. different?
      i mean if he makes things this uncomfortable now-
      imagine how he might be at a shoot.

  2. Jesus. I’m exhausted just reading your account of dealing with Chuck. Some people need to LOWER THE INTENSITY.

    Thanks for the email, btw. The latest disc (Mercy) is v. v. good. Expect another package sometime next week ; )

    Now I’m seriously thinking of reselling the Perfidious disc for some cash. I’m getting nervous about my dentist appointment.

    • Lower the intensity! That’s a good way to put it. I’ve been having a tough time with this because I try not to be mean unless someone is mean to me first, but he’s making it hard. He’s a nice guy, but way too into this. I don’t think I could EVER work with him, even if it was just one on one.

      You should try to resell that for real! I hope you were able to get a good deal on it? It was so cool of you to burn me a copy, I’ve been trying to find their stuff for years!

      I read about your “Shit tooth” and was thankful that the picture didn’t show up for me at work because I’m like Tery when it comes to tooth-stuff! Hope you get it taken care of without too much hassle!

      Too many “!!!!!!”s. Need to be put down.

  3. Merry made you a tutu? MAN I love that woman!!

  4. It’s really too bad this guy had to pull this on you and ruin the fun. He knew it was just for fun, but it didn’t seem to sink in, did it? Yeah, right you were going to lend a stranger your tutu.

    Christina’s right though- you are good enough to deserve to be paid for your photos.

    • He didn’t ruin it because I’m still doing it.

      I don’t deserve to get paid for something that I just piss around with. I would feel strange about it. I don’t ever try to pretend that I’m better than I really am.

  5. this stuff is gold, i tell you!

    pure, pure, gold.

    i am so glad that man’s nas-tay bits are not defiling the holiest of holy tutus.

  6. Fucking Craigslist man, thats all I can say. I’ve met and talked to the weirdest fucking people in my life trying to sell stuff through the site. Its just a weird ass place man. I’m sorry he shat in your cornflakes on the shoot, I was looking forward to seeing the results. I thought it was a cool idea. Pig Mask, tutu, and toy camera? Score!

  7. Craigslist seems to be a harbor for the crazies.

    I think that guy needs a life!

    • Admittedly, I assumed the people answering my ad wouldn’t be normal, and I wasn’t looking for normal anyway, but it was more of his constant correspondance that turned me off! Otherwise, i’d have loved to have him there.



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