Aug 012010

Two reasons I’m posting these photos:

  1. I need to have curlers like those in my life again
  2. That’s PURPLE in my lap in the second photo!

And also because I miss my old bedroom so much. That’s the last time I had a bedroom with actual interior design. It’s been white walls and bland furniture ever since. Then Henry moved in with me and added casually strewn socks and underwear to the floor.

Lisa was over my house one time and videotaped me dancing to Queen’s Radio Gaga with those curlers in my hair. It was not one of my finer moments. Speaking of finer moments, I need to wake Henry up so he can fulfill some obligations up in here.

I have no idea who took these pictures, which is alarming to me, since I always know everything.

Dec 152007

After much careful deliberation, a considerable amount of mulling, and a brief engagement with hemming and hawing, I have officially decided to participate in No Name Calling Week. This futility workout will begin on January 21, at which point I will shelve my Tourette-ish need to call Henry an ass-fucking moronic dick-shitting piece of trailer trash with a second-grade level spelling proficiency who washes his underwear in a creek. I will not tell Christina she’s a dumb fucking fake Mexican lesbo God-fearing lame rapping banana-stuffed cunt. I will not call my child a Little Asshole.

Luckily, I can still punch the shit out of Janna.

I will be monitored all week by Henry, Christina, Janna and I guess I’ll have to tell some people at work, since that’s going to be a very crucial chunk of the week.

“I’m going to win,” I boasted to Henry.

“Somehow I don’t think the point is to win a prize,” he said, yet another ounce of his faith in me fluttering off to Heaven.

I think I might be biting off more than I can chew. I also think this is intended for school kids.