My friend Brandy is always busting out cool crafts and other projects on her blog, so I asked her to do something holiday-ish to share on here with you guys. I’m no crafter at all, but even I was inspired to take a trip to the craft store/fabric store/Goodwill/Dollar General (seriously we never have any crafting supplies in this house; just art shit) and try this out myself (with a TON of help from Andrea, who has a lot of patience, probably because of all those saints that she prays to. I’m starting to do that now too. It’s like a new game for me!). I will post about our experience later, pictures included (but no blood smears; that’s all dried up by now).
I was beyond thrilled when Erin asked me to do a DIY post for her blog. At first I was overwhelmed with fear because Erin is such an excellent writer that I was certain that I would fail. Not much time had passed before I came up with a pretty decent idea that I thought would make a good fit though. The pictures suck but I’m not a professional photog (I just pretend to be) so just go with it. I should give you little back story first, I’m not a big fan of Santa Claus. In fact I hate the fat asshole and that concludes the back story. I thought about horrible things I could do that would involve me doing harm to him and a voodoo doll was the obvious option.
I don’t want to offend anyone because I know how loved and adored Santa is to most of the world but I’ve learned to move on quickly when I have those kinds of feelings. You don’t have to perform all of the rituals and French or African litany that generally ensues and you can even skip sticking it with pins all together and just use it as an adorable decorative piece. But if logic takes over you’ll realize that Santa “isn’t real” and that creating a voodoo doll for him won’t matter anyways. Your kids may even like it to use after Christmas for when Santa (or YOU) don’t buy them what they really wanted. It may even come in handy for the average spinster when Santa doesn’t leave that hot stud on her doorstep like he “promised” he would.
(Ed.Note: This was one of the parts Andrea did for me last night because she didn’t want me handling a glue gun.)
Thanks for having me! Happy Pricking!