Urgent. Will die without reading.
- 19:42 My boss has a Richard Marx ringtone. I can’t front though, I’ve been known to power lip-sync to some Hazard #
- 11:18 Shilling Halloween cards to the willing: tinyurl.com/4mdbjk #
- 16:34 Was just told I can keep a book at my desk for when its slow. Heaven, I think I’m feeling you up right now. #
- 17:44 My boss asked me why I’m so dudded up. I had to doublecheck to see if I accidentally put on my Versace sheath and Manolo Blahniks. #
- 17:44 Nope, just jeans and boots. #
- 21:52 Henrys watching iCarly with a smile on his face. #
- 09:54 Desperately seeking: secluded cabin to escape to. Preferrably in woods that are home to chainsaw-wielding psychopath. #
- 17:07 Blake just gave me a piece a gum and said “since my dad doesn’t buy you anything.” #
- 19:37 About to go on hayride. Blakes nipples will protect us. #
- 20:20 Fuck, Michael Myers. You get me hot every time. #
- 20:44 My kid just called Jesus an asshole. #
- 21:38 Chooch sure can quiet a restaurant. #
- 21:44 I make janna sit next to Chooch. That way, when he screams asshole, ppl think she’s the shitty mother. #
- 22:17 Why’s everyone q-tipping their dickholes over these shitty fireworks? Happy fucking birthday already, Pittsburgh. #
- 00:37 The age difference between Henry and me has seemingly doubled. #
- 11:47 We’re taking Captain Vulgarity to the apple festival. I’m bracing myself. #
- 11:53 A lot of apples are going to get their feelings hurt today. #
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i still wish i knew more people to give your halloween cards to!! LOVE THEM!!