Jan 102008

Today, I’m sick of old friends reconnecting with no intention of getting to know who I’ve become. I’m sick of self-serving fucks who schmooze about how it feels like "being home" when they’re with me when they have no idea who I am anymore, or where I am in life, and completely ignore the fact that I’m a mother now and someone else’s girlfriend. I’m sick of pathetic failures who spend all of their time building up a slipshod facade of grandeur and give themselves pompous nicknames on MySpace and wait for all the sleazy goth hoes to fellate their ego. I’m sick of self-aggrandizing assholes who won’t admit that they’re really just not that good, not that talented, but feel it’s necessary to hear themselves making grandiose statements outloud in order to keep deluding the truth, like, "I created a LiveJournal but realized that everything I was writing was just way too good to post there, so I’m saving it for publication." Then they say they care about me, but when we go out for coffee and I stop in the bathroom, they only order their own coffee, leaving me the frustrating task of flagging down the waitress for a cup of my own. Then they say they love me, like the words are laced with magic and I’m going to drop everything and leave my son and leave Henry and run off with someone who can’t keep a job and gets kicked out of school and makes shitty club music but acts like they’re a fucking Goth god who writes manifestos about the "scene" to prove it. Fuck you.

  20 Responses to “When the terms of ‘friendship’ become redefined”

  1. I am in total agreement. Fuck him.

  2. I was JUST having this discussion with my LJ friend. About how really good writers are often unnecessarily humble and how really bad writers are almost always maddeningly self-assured. I don’t know who you’re talking about, but I hate him just from this description.

    Fuck him.

    • I AGREE! It’s infuriating. I’ve read some of the shit he’s written and even once you get past the poor spelling and scary grammar, it’s very pretentious and well, not very good.

      But hey, who am I to judge?? He’s the one with all the College Education, not me.


  3. wow, of course i have no idea who you are talking about, but year – fuck him.

    i’m sorry you’re dealing with such a twat.

  4. I have no idea who you’re speaking of, either, but yeah, screw him/her.

    P.S. Expect an email from me soon!

  5. Oh my god. You’ve written almost exactly the thoughts I’ve been thinking the last couple of days, only more eloquently. A guy who knew me in high school found me on mystupidspace and well, what you said. Not everything exactly, but the not being interested at all in who I am now, not even considering I don’t give a shit about who I was then… and some more things but I’m really trying not to be mean right now…

  6. “I’m sick of pathetic failures who spend all of their time building up a slipshod facade of grandeur and give themselves pompous nicknames on MySpace and wait for all the sleazy goth hoes to fellate their ego.”

    Yeah. That shit gets old very, very fast, does it not?


  7. I hate reconnecting with old friends for that same reason. Unless you both have changed into something similar and you have new things in common, I find they just keep trying to drag you back into what you used to be. Usually they’re right where they were when you lost touch with them, or they’ve turned into some caricature of themselves… either way there’s no point in trying to relive the past. =\

    And I hate when people are so arrogant like that… maybe if you’re like Norman Mailer or something you can go ahead and think you’re too good for the interwebs, but otherwise shut the fuuuuuck up.

    • I almost felt like it was his roundabout way of putting me too. Like, “It’s ok for Erin to post her writing online, because it’s not that good.”


      But I agree with you totally — reliving the past is usually a bad idea. It’s not very often that I can reconnect with someone and forge a genuine friendship from it. Like my friend Christy — every time we’d get together, usually after years of not talking, all we’d ever do was talk about our childhood and that gets old.

  8. Hi Erin-

    I like your new format! But, I just wonder: did you really cancel coming over to dinner for Riley’s birthday and not come to my wedding because you felt that all we had in common was the past? Maybe. Agreed that our friendship had changed, but I always did my best to see where you were coming from, and support you.

    I will continue to read, and hope for nothing but good things for you!

    • Hey Christy-

      No, that wasn’t why I didn’t come to those things, Riley was sick when we were going to do the dinner, although maybe it had a part in me not trying harder to make it to your wedding. I guess it really hit me at your wedding shower, it made me realize that I really had no part or role in your life anymore. I didn’t know anyone there but your mom, lol!

      I don’t want you to think I don’t like you, you were my best friend for a long time and I’ll always have that sisterly love for you! I’m just trying to be more honest with myself. I just got to the point where I had to learn to let go of the past and accept that people change and grow apart. It’s nothing either of us did, but it’s still kind of sad.

      That’s life, I guess!

      I support you and wish good things for you and Andrew, as well. <3

  9. Definitely sad; there were a lot of people at my shower who didn’t know anybody else there! Doesn’t mean you didn’t have a part or role in my life anymore…


  10. I told you he sucked.

    Ill beat him up for you if you want.

  11. a lot of people use the word “love” without even fully understanding what it means-

    he’s definitely one of them.

    i’m sorry. the erin of today… i’d say she’s EVEN BETTER than the erin of yesteryear. his loss.

  12. *applauds*

Choose Your Words Carefully