Apr 162019

You know, I had a feeling that April was going to be the month where the metaphorical ice melted off my social life. Goddammit, I love it when I’m right. My friend Michelle was in town to see Les Ballets Trockadero with one of her daughters and had an extra ticket so she invited me to join them!

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I was really excited because it seemed like something that would appeal to me, plus I haven’t seen Michelle since our Great Michigan Road Trip of 2014 where we missed Chronica’s engagement party and now “Michigan” is basically the name of the stripper I cheated on them with!

I’ve known Michelle for a HELLA long time thanks to the friendship-creating powerhouse known as LiveJournal, but we only met that one time “in real life.” She lives a lot closer now, in Ohio, so hanging out will be a lot easier!

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When I was telling Blake about my ballet plans at breakfast that morning, he was shocked. “You still have friends from LiveJournal?!”

UM, YEAH, BLAKE. Only about 75% of them turned on me or ended up having personality disorders*, but I’ve still got the rest!

*(I could write a book just on all of those failed e-friendships, LORD JESUS.)

I met Michelle and her daughter Kira in front of their hotel Saturday evening and it was so great to see them! They were both dressed super cool for the ballet – Michelle had on these slick silver shoes that made me want to listen to some 80’s new wave in a big way. Ugh, they were so cool! We walked across that one bridge by PNC Park and I got to point out the only thing I know — the building I work in. I’m such a good tour guide!

(Speaking of tour guiding- the Army Navy store that sold the machete to the guy who went on a Voorhees-esque rampage at the Wood Street T station has closed! That was one the landmarks on my unofficial walking tour of Pittsburgh!)

Here I am keeping my streak alive of looking like shit in a group selfie, and also Kira was so lucky that I didn’t try to steal that giant Kit Kat from her. I love a Kit Kat every now and then, where “then” equals “constantly.”

I realized when we arrived at the Byham that I hadn’t been there since 2003 when Henry and I went to see Sigur Ros, where my passionate review could be summarized by “it was a religious experience and I was re-Baptized by my own face fountain of tears,” whereas Henry’s review was “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

So, wow, Byham – it’s been a while!

(Maybe this is sign that I need more culture in my life, though?)

Guys, I didn’t know anything about this thing until Michelle told me that’s why she was coming to town and I was like, “HMM WHAT IS THIS TROCKADERO” and then slowly slammed-spelled it out with one finger on the keyboard. I figured it must be Really Something because it was sold out, so I didn’t hesitate to take Michelle up on her offer when she found herself with an extra ticket. Not only did I get to hang out with Michelle and Kira, but I got to see a fabulously entertaining poke at tradition ballet. Admittedly, my only knowledge of ballet comes from my terrible one-year stint at it when I took classes at St. Elizabeth with Amy L. in 1st grade and pretty much cried before every class, and “Suspiria” (the original Argento version, not the remake, obvi).

Oh, and I did see “Black Swan” too – does that count?

Anyway — I loved this! I didn’t realize that these guys are actually classically trained, not just some random Joes off the street. They were fucking fantastic and I felt that they parodied the dances just the right amount and pulled back each time just before it became too heavy-handed or Loony Toons-esque.

Afterward, we got to walk back over the bridge and sometimes I forget just how cool Pittsburgh is at night with all the bridges that I am generally afraid of but was distracted this time since I had company. Michelle commented on how Pittsburgh has so many bridges and I waned to wow her with Real Facts, but I couldn’t remember off-hand that cool bridge trivia I learned five years ago on the Just Ducky tour I went on with some co-workers. Something about how we have more bridges than Venice? Like over 400? I can’t remember. Maybe Google that before you quote me. And DEFINITELY don’t ever use me as your Phone a Friend if you ever get asked a Pittsburgh question, Jesus Christ. I’m the un-Yinzeriest person living here, I think.

I made Henry watch some of their YouTube videos when I got home that night and when I saw an interview with this dancer, he became my immediate favorite because I got major Ten from WayV/NCT vibes! I would totally go see this again if the opportunity ever arose. Big ups to Michelle for culturizing me in my own town!


SIDEBAR: Speaking of Ten, here’s this recent choreo he made with Winwin that I am obsessed with and I saw that one of the kpop pinmakers designed a mock-up for this and if she gets it made into an actual pin, I am 100% there for that. I could watch Ten dance all day long. He might be my second favorite dancer, right behind Taemin.

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