We finally had some time to trim our sexy Christmas tree, aka Trudy the Dish, last night! I think this is her fifth Christmas with us, blessed be!
I can’t believe my childhood dreams have come true and kept on staying that way! You have no idea how happy this dumb Xmas tree makes me.
And Janna too, which is why she hasn’t missed The Trimming of Trudy yet!
Henry’s only job is to strip Trudy of her clothes (her everyday outfit is a sweater from the 80s that also doubles as a display for my enamel pin collection–Trudy has a lot of purpose in this house, probably more than even I have, if we’re being candid here) and then the super easy task of cocooning her in Xmas lights which I never fail to cry is NEVER ENOUGH by the time he’s done and then he responds by storming out of the room in a huff and then Janna chides me with an, “Ooooooooh.”
Henry provided the snacks because decorating a mannequin for Christmas takes a lot out of a person.
I went a different route this year by eschewing the boxy Christmas sweater we usually stuff onto Trudy’s torso, because it really hides her svelte figure. I had a vision of her swirled and striped in extra garland for 2019, so that’s what we did, and you guys….I love it. This is the look (never “lewk,” I hate that dumb word) that Trudy was poured and molded for at the mannequin factory.
Trudy, you are fucking WELCOME.
At one point, I looked at Janna and said, “Oh my god…..she’s Trudy….GARLAND.”
And then Janna was like, “Ha-ha” but I was laughing myself straight to the nearest improv club and then made Janna high-five me, and Chooch was just like, “I don’t understand why that’s funny. I googled Trudy Garland and nothing is happening.”
So then we had to explain about Judy Garland and a few more turns were made and that is how we ended up watching parts of The Wizard of the Oz synched with Dark Side of the Moon on Chooch’s phone.
But you know, once in the 90s was enough
I bought Trudy a new hat at Target. It lights up!
Poor Henry thought his decorating duties were over but then I was like, “HENRY THE ELF, HANG THE LIGHTS ON THE CURE WALL” so he spent a good hour fucking around with boxes of brand new lights that turned out to be lemons and look out Target, because Henry is going to ASK FOR HIS MONEY BACK.
I drank some wine and I don’t drink much anymore so I was a REAL HOOT, YOU COULD SAY.
This is what everything looked like to me last night. Also, I let Henry get some sitting in because now he’s back to hanging more lights today and also I sprung on him the idea of painting our front door because it’s white and plain, and I think he’s starting to look forward to the day when he gets to move into an old folks home and have shit done for HIMSELF for once, haha. And probably no one will come to him for help making gigantic art pieces of the Seoul subway map that lights up with corresponding colored LED lights.
Yeah, it’s on his current To Do list, haha.
Drew’s like why can’t we have a regular tree so I can climb inside it like normal asshole cats.
It’s hard decorating for a holiday when your house is always exploding with color and lights, but we do what we can.
Chooch made Janna play some cat collecting game, which should be a real life game for them.
Janna was mad at first because Chooch wasn’t reading the directions in his own voice which was cracking me up because, wine, but Janna was like COME ON CHOOCH, GIVE ME THE DIRECTIONS and then I posted this video on social media and it got Kara all riled up because she is the QUEEN OF NOT FUCKING AROUND WITH GAME DIRECTIONS! If you want your game nights to run like a well-oiled machine, you gotta invite Kara. She’ll get the shit done and cut loose any dead weight.
And there was always dead weight at my game nights of yesteryear, believe me.
We kept Janna here until like 1:30am, making her watch videos of Korea and trying to convince her that joining us on our next trip there (hopefully 2021!!!) could be the best decision she ever makes. I think she’s sold! I love Korea SO MUCH and I can’t think of anything greater than sharing the experience with a friend!
That door is getting fucking painted. Henry said “it certainly won’t be today” but it’s going to be this week, I promise you that.
There is the door through which Henry once yelled at me. Nostalgia.