Nov 282020

Earlier today, Chooch and Henry were at Target and they bought me a candle named Ruby.

Chooch, referring to my old online persona, just now asked me, “Did you used to call yourself Ruby because that was your birthstone?

“No, I changed my name to Emerald in 10th grade* and Ruby was my psychotic alter ego,” I explained.

“So…isn’t that just your normal self then?” he deadpanned.


Also, accurate.

*(I started writing “poetry” in 10 grade to mock my friend Melissa/Martha/Poptart and Emerald was my pen name. I got two whole teachers to call me that: my English teacher and one of the gym teachers.

Bless them.)

Also, we are decorating for Christmas tonight I guess and it is super sad without Janna here.

OMG as I’m typing this ANOTHER SHITTY CONVERSATION HAPPENED. Henry is talking about how he needs to go to Lowe’s and Chooch said he wants to go too and Henry was about to voice his disdain but then he remembered it’s me who is the pain the ass to go to Lowe’s with.

“Going anywhere with her is a pain in the ass,” Chooch tacked on, not missing a beat.


Here’s son of the year, trying to think of the word “ottoman.”

OK, proceed with your Saturday night.

Say it don't spray it.

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