Jul 312010

We’re in a typical disorganized frenzy to enroll Chooch into pre-school. Naturally, like any good parents, we can’t find his birth certificate so Henry was sitting in a pile of personal affects yesterday, hoping to find it. And to not get bit by something living amidst the relics.

Chooch was “helping,” as he does so well. Suddenly, he comes running into the living room where I’m sitting on the couch and shouts, “HAHAHA, LOOK WHAT I FOUND!” And then, “LOOK HOW BIG MOMMY’S BOOBS ARE!” and somehow I knew what it was going to be. I just knew.

And then I saw the flimsy purple plastic photo album in his hand and my fears were confirmed. Before I could steal it from him, he had flipped to the page he wanted me to see and held up, covering his mouth with his other hand and laughing.

Pictures from Henry’s 30th birthday party in 1945.

Pictures from Henry’s 30th birthday party in 1945 WHEN HE HAD A STRIPPER GRINDING ON HIS LAP.

Snatching it from his hand, I shouted, “This is not me!

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This is a STRIPPER!”

“No it’s not,” he chided. “It’s YOU!”

Maybe I might have been flattered if it was some hot piece of 20-year-old ass, but this broad looked past her prime, not to mention I’m pretty positive she was a Steve at some point in her life.

Besides, had this been me, I would have been SIXTEEN. I mean, I had a rough childhood, but it wasn’t bad enough to send me gyrating against poles and the laps of moustacioed creepers.

I was going to wait until later to post these  great retrosexual photos of Henry but I want to humiliate him while he’s still in the house. He’ll probably go AWOL here soon, because it’s Blogathon and he fears Blogathon Erin.

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She actually looks somewhat hot here. Like Kristen Bell a little! Must have been a good angle.

This is my favorite! What a fucking loser. “Oh mama, there is a female ASS in my face right now!

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HOOOOO BOY!” I bet he called all his old SERVICE friends to tell them about it. “And this time, I didn’t have to pay for it! Someone ELSE did!”

Seriously, I’m not convinced that’s not a man.

Also, I’m glad I didn’t get “Clean Shaven, Sleazy Henry.” I prefer “Bearded Woodman, Sleazy Henry.”

I bet Henry’s wife had sex with her later.

  15 Responses to “#2: Henry gets a stripper”

  1. I was going to ask you to share these photos after you tweeted about them. I should’ve known I wouldn’t have to ask.

    “I’m not convinced that’s not a man.”
    So what? I dig a chick with a fright wig, Buddy Holly glasses, and an air of mystery about the contents of her tights. That’s why they call it “strange.”

  2. We’re finally ready to donate, but I can’t figure out how, Yippy!!

    Those photos are hilarious.

  3. ok, we figured it out. Now one of us needs to go find a credit card, but we’ll do it soon.

  4. You know, even with fond memories of the stripper, I don’t see how he could have kept them with those ridiculous faces he made. Henry had to know those pictures would come back to haunt him.

  5. This is such a great way to start off blogathon 2010!! Those pictures are great, but should probably be destroyed soonish. This will be good material for show and tell when chooch gets to school!

  6. Retrosexual.. wow. I hardly had to wait to see my word used. lol

  7. OMG your boobs are HUGE, Erin!! ;)

    These are hilarious. I don’t know how I would react with a stripper in my face like that. I probably would turn bright red and want to hide… lol.

  8. Omg. What on gods green earth was that women dressed as when she arrived to justify that wig?!?
    I can’t believe the boobs. Nice one Henry!
    I wonder if she’s still available… Pauls 40 th is coming up…

  9. Erin, I’m pretty sure this IS you. I mean, your boobs are twice the size of your head, aren’t they? Or do I really not pay attention? Dammit.

  10. those are the grossest fake tits ive seen in a while!!!

    I wish i could make it out today to witness the blogathon in all its glory but I have a wedding I have to go to..booo!

  11. My 50th will be here soon if anyone wants to volunteer to be a better stripper? (hint to Bill, you might look good in a little tight outfit) Oh yea and Stacy need not apply ;)


    I think my favorite part is the guy who appears to be exiting in the first photo. Even he’s all eh about it!

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