Jul 142022

I made it through June, which ended way better than it began minus some trailer park-ish drama. Now summer really feels like it’s here and I’m thriving – until the end of my month when my bday rolls around and I will succumb to one-day depression maybe probably depending on how well I’m being paid attention to. I think it should be fine though because we’ll be visiting my long-time friend in Cure obsession & Tolhursting alone, ALYSON!

In an effort to break up the amusement park posts, here’s a photo dump from the last week or so.

Vans Crew! I was stupidly excited when I realized that I was wearing the same shoes as Henry’s grandkids, Calvin and Lily, so we needed a photo, stat. Obviously Henry was not invited to participate.

I got this cute Richard Simmons talking figure at The Rocket in Ypsilanti last weekend & he looks hot AF on my kitchen shelf of 1980s figureheads.

All of these cars belong to HNC, yes even the one that’s behind an entirely different house up there, and this does not include the car that he actually drives every day. (He doesn’t drive any of the other ones! And the one in the forefront is his wife’s and how that one is up on blocks suddenly?!

I don’t get it. Chooch’s nemesis Larry is the same exact way – his whole driveway looks like a junkyard!! Just an FYI for anyone new here, we actually live in the city and not like some rural area where this is more accepted!!

When we came home at one point on Sunday, we couldn’t pull our own car down the driveway because HNC had his one driveable car pulled down there too because he was WORKING ON IT!? I see a lot of dumb shit around here but I am just actually rendered speechless by this.

Here is me at work last week! It was a day that definitely drained some / a lot of the novelty out of the whole “BACK IN THE CITY” sensation thanks to sleazy ass motherfuckers on the street being sleazy ass motherfuckers. I have been trying to avoid this one part of town since I’ve been back because the pandemic really turned it into some Mad Max type of bullshit, but I had to get to the Heinz History Center’s gift shop that day to get Chooch’s homestay some local gifts, thus forcing me to walk a way I have been avoided. And, as though on cue, some Jonny Craig-looking motherfucker with a face full of prison tattoos called out to me, “HEY TAKE ME HOME WITH YOU” and threw his body into some repulsive throat-sloughing laugh.

Then he said something else and my ears did me a favor by going into survival mode and closing off so I thankfully avoided hearing what came next.

Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.

I never get hit on by any savory types!!!

This week at work, I treated myself to a strawberry matcha latte from Adda. Worth it.

Ugh you guys. On that note, it’s been a really weird week adjusting to a Chooch-less house. I know this month will blow past, summer mths always do, and obviously I’m so glad that he wanted to do this and that we were able to help make it happen (his academic scholarship only went so far, people!) but it’s been disorienting, and I have been off my game big time, especially at work I feel like.

Also, two nights ago my left eye started burning and when I took my contact out, it unleashed a whole ass world of hurt upon me. The pain flooded in so fast and hard that I couldn’t keep my eye open, like my eyelid was like, “LET ME DO MY JOB” and kept forcing my eye shut, like closing a curtain on the veritable fucking acid bath going on behind it. Holy fuck, I have no idea what happened, but it hurt SO BAD that I could barely sleep all night. My eye was watering so hard that my whole left side of my face was like a 1980s art deco penthouse water feature. The pain was medieval, like an eyelash-sized sword slashing my prized orbital parts and I was actually terrified that somehow I had ripped my eyeball maybe?!!?

Holy shit, I was miserable. Obviously I wore my glasses all day yesterday and then it felt like I had allergies, like really hardcore hay fever. I was a dripping, sneezing, eye-squirting mess all day. I actually thought I was being punished for something. Then! Because I hadn’t slept hardly at all that night, the last hour of work was excruciating because I was so exhausted that I kept doing “eyes rolling back” and “snoring-while-awake” routine. You guys, I was SO TIRED that I TOOK A NAP after work. Granted it was for less than an hour and then I woke up panicked about my step-count, because WHAT IS MY LIFE, but yeah – that’s how bad this whole thing was and Henry kept asking, “NOW do you want to go to the doctor?” and I’m like, “NO! IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN A WEEK SINCE I HAD TO GO TO LABCORP FOR A WELLNESS CHECK AND GET BLOOD DRAWN!” Bitch, I can only handle so much HEALTH CARE in my life, and there is still A BRUISE AND BAND-AID RESIDUE in the crook of my right arm from THE BLOODLETTING because I am too scared to wash/scrub it off since that area MIGHT STILL BE TENDER FROM THE NEEDLE. I cannot GO TO ANOTHER MEDICAL THING while I still have REMNANTS FROM THE LAST MEDICAL THING on my person!!!!

Anyway, my eye was fine all day until around 6:00 and then it got weird again but not nearly like it was the other night and it’s not even red this time so fingers crossed that it’s just some allergic reaction to who knows what because nothing has changed in my house and I fucking swear to god if I’m suddenly allergic to the squirrels….

OK bye.

Say it don't spray it.

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