When I launch a new obsession, I of course want to share this with my work friends. For example, the Wacky Worm. I was hoping it would become a wide-spread sensation, culminating in a department field trip to DelGrosso’s, which is a semi-local amusement that has A PERMANENT WACKY WORM, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. Naturally, the Wacky Worm hysteria flopped as far as pandemics go, although Barb very thoughtfully brought me a DelGrosso’s brochure she saw in a State College hotel over the weekend, so that was progress.
Most of my work friends smiled and let me go on about the Wacky Worm, except for Glenn. What you need to know about Glenn is that he is little more than a better-dressed Henry. He makes the same faces at me that I get from Henry on the daily: those judge-y smirks and annoyed frowns. I’m pretty sure he thinks I have a mental handicap that went undetected during my interview.
I’m used to this treatment at home, so it’s OK. Glenn and I are still friends.
Regarding the Wacky Worm, I believe Glenn’s reaction was, “WTF is wrong with you?” And then when I showed him a picture of it and asked, “See? Doesn’t it look awesome?” he very dryly said, “No. Not really.”
He was equally unimpressed with my Wacky Worm t-shirt design. “Does it come with a helmet?” he asked with a very Henry-iffic smugness.
“Obviously that means you want one,” I provoked.
“I’m pretty sure people would get the wrong idea if I wore that,” Glenn laughed.
“Why, because it’s pink?” Sometimes I’m not that quick.
“Uh, no. Because of what it says.” He even used the same “I’m talking to a child” tone that Henry has patented.
Glenn should have just kept his mouth shut, because from that moment on my mind was in full-blown revenge mode.
Yesterday at work, I had Barb and Nina stall Glenn near my desk so I could take a covert picture of him. (Although I don’t feel I was very covert about it. We made eye contact at least four times but he didn’t seem to catch on. Probably because he’s used to me huddled at my desk, laughing alone and looking suspicious.)
This morning, I made a new Wacky Worm graphic. I’m printing a bunch out and plastering them around Glenn’s desk. (This is why I don’t ever get important shit done.)
Nobody puts Wacky Worm in the corner.
[ETA: It is now the end of October and Glenn still proudly has his Wacky Worm postcards taped to the front of his desk like they’re pictures of his kids.]