Aug 272008


  • 12:53 Henry is engrossed in “Tremors.” It’s like the “Citizen Kane” for people of Henry’s cinematic IQ. #
  • 14:45 Water polo looks exhausting. I want to try it, could go for a good water-logging. #
  • 14:52 You know what’s full of jock-sniffers and pants-shitters? Hungary. That’s what. #
  • 15:19 Apparently my water polo man-cheering has given Henry a headache. He just thanked me. #
  • 15:54 – Would cook him pancakes. Water polo <3. #
  • 19:17 – Loud mouth in the grocery store #
  • 21:37 Electricity’s out. Lost will to survive. Laying on floor staring at ceiling. just had a tricycle crash into my head. #
  • 22:16 There’s little that sounds more angelic than a two year old saying “hey douche” #
  • 22:27 Chooch’s first prayer: Yo Jesus, turn our lights back on. You douche. #


  • 14:35 I don’t know how much longer I can do this unemployment bizznass. Too much face time w/ Henry makes me see homicide on the horizon. #
  • 16:27 Anthropologie srsly makes me consider selling blow jobs for dresses. #
  • 18:02 Supposedly I’m imbibing an amaretto sours right now at the Apple Inn. It is surely unlike any amaretto sour I’ve ever had. #
  • 18:45 Was telling my friend stacey that I went to philly to see the cure and just then THE CURE came on the jukebox. #
  • 19:57 Completely talked  Stacey into participating in a photoshoot. But first she asked “how weird are you making it?” #


  • 10:01 Chooch is playing on his toy piano and said, “Mommy look – Chiodos!” and I WILL NOT LIE I AM SWOONING. #
  • 11:16 It just doesn’t feel like a good, normal Tuesday until a Pgh detective pounds on ur door and questions u about ur neighbors. #
  • 12:32 I promise to not blog anymore today. #
  • 18:19 I’m leaving Henry for the guy at Burger King with the Whitesnake ring tone. #
  • 19:08 Currently at lamest church carnival. I want to yell SATAN in the faces of the elderly. #
  • 19:14 Just bitched about how everyone here is a dumb cunt who hug and kiss each other and henry yelled “its called FRIENDLY” #
  • 19:29 Said “this place fucking blows” just as the priest walked past. #
  • 19:38 This priest is walking around looking so damn smug. Your carnival is not THAT jumpin’, Pops. #
  • 19:42 I don’t think I could play a game that’s named after diarrhea. #
  • 23:46 Diddy and I could never work together. Not without some contusions and hatchet-swinging. #

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  8 Responses to “Three Dumb Days of Tweets”

  1. 10:01 Chooch is playing on his toy piano and said, “Mommy look – Chiodos!” and I WILL NOT LIE I AM SWOONING.

    chooch is like FRANK!!!!!!#@!#$@##@#@#@$!##$#!#@
    your child is awesome.

    you’re awesome too- because these tweets are extremely entertaining. i especially enjoy your carnival and olympic tweets.

  2. i totally bought the tremors 4 pack at best buy the other day.

  3. Please move here so we can hate everything/one together in person?

  4. Hey now Tremors is a good movie. What game is named after diarrhea??

Say it don't spray it.

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