Three Dumb Days of Tweets

SUNDAY

• 12:53 Henry is engrossed in “Tremors.” It’s like the “Citizen Kane” for people of Henry’s cinematic IQ. #
• 14:45 Water polo looks exhausting. I want to try it, could go for a good water-logging. #
• 14:52 You know what’s full of jock-sniffers and pants-shitters? Hungary. That’s what. #
• 15:19 Apparently my water polo man-cheering has given Henry a headache. He just thanked me. #
• 15:54 twitpic.com/8wuf – Would cook him pancakes. Water polo <3. #
• 19:17 twitpic.com/8xr7 – Loud mouth in the grocery store #
• 21:37 Electricity’s out. Lost will to survive. Laying on floor staring at ceiling. just had a tricycle crash into my head. #
• 22:16 There’s little that sounds more angelic than a two year old saying “hey douche” #
• 22:27 Chooch’s first prayer: Yo Jesus, turn our lights back on. You douche. #

MONDAY

• 14:35 I don’t know how much longer I can do this unemployment bizznass. Too much face time w/ Henry makes me see homicide on the horizon. #
• 16:27 Anthropologie srsly makes me consider selling blow jobs for dresses. #
• 18:02 Supposedly I’m imbibing an amaretto sours right now at the Apple Inn. It is surely unlike any amaretto sour I’ve ever had. #
• 18:45 Was telling my friend stacey that I went to philly to see the cure and just then THE CURE came on the jukebox. #
• 19:57 Completely talked  Stacey into participating in a photoshoot. But first she asked “how weird are you making it?” #

TUESDAY

• 10:01 Chooch is playing on his toy piano and said, “Mommy look – Chiodos!” and I WILL NOT LIE I AM SWOONING. #
• 11:16 It just doesn’t feel like a good, normal Tuesday until a Pgh detective pounds on ur door and questions u about ur neighbors. #
• 12:32 I promise to not blog anymore today. #
• 18:19 I’m leaving Henry for the guy at Burger King with the Whitesnake ring tone. #
• 19:08 Currently at lamest church carnival. I want to yell SATAN in the faces of the elderly. #
• 19:14 Just bitched about how everyone here is a dumb cunt who hug and kiss each other and henry yelled “its called FRIENDLY” #
• 19:29 Said “this place fucking blows” just as the priest walked past. #
• 19:38 This priest is walking around looking so damn smug. Your carnival is not THAT jumpin’, Pops. #
• 19:42 I don’t think I could play a game that’s named after diarrhea. #
• 23:46 Diddy and I could never work together. Not without some contusions and hatchet-swinging. #

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