Urgent. Will die without reading.

• 15:14 it would be awesome if i came home from work tonight and the DISHES WERE WASHED. #
• 15:18 When I learned what “sack” meant, I cheered real loud. #
• 21:06 I took online tests and chopped invoices all night. And got paid a lot to do that. #
• 21:12 I love delivery drivers. #
• 21:46 Welcomed home from first nite of work by my bitchy boyfriend. Time to wipe the blood from your vagina, henry. #
• 21:47 Popcorn and chocolate milk for dinner, I guess. #

• 09:58 Today is a day for some E.99 Eternal and ass-capping. Whutwhut. But first I’ll make coffee. #
• 11:50 I wonder how long it will take Chooch to draw a comparison between raisins and boogers. #
• 12:45 When chooch hurts himself on something, he calls the offending object a bastard and pretends to shoot it. #
• 14:34 Every time I look at Madchen Amick, I see a former man. #
• 21:40 A vigorous handshake from a driver caused me to slosh burning hot coffee all over my left hand. I’ve been christened. #
• 21:56 I swear I barely watched TV until the WB and now the CW began pandering to my eternal teenager. #
• 22:38 Am so tired but can’t sleep knowing that in 24 hours, I’ll be freaking out at the Chiodos show. Its like xmas eve!! Without the egg nog. #
• 23:48 So far, there are no femulletted employees at my new job to replace the gaping vacancy in my heart left by Tina. #

• 09:28 @fondabruises thank you! I woke up and squealed! #
• 09:40 On today’s agenda: 1. Deflect toys chucked by son. 2. Jumprope. 3. Hassle Henry. 4. Dig holes 4 bodies. 5. CHIODOS. 6. ORGASM. 7. DIE. #
• 11:30 I will be so sad if the day ever comes where I don’t get butterflies before a show. Please don’t ever fly away, butterflies. #
• 11:48 Attempted to make scrambled eggs w/ cheese. The cheese ended up avalanching the eggs. How very Wisconsin. (Read: binding) #

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