Oct 7 2008

Introducing Erin Appledale

Category: really bad ideas

I really want to change my name to Erin Appledale. I mean, consider how many Erin Kellys there are in the world. There were TWO OTHER Erin Kellys going to Pitt the same time I was. So that’s at least three Erin Kellys that I know of in this city alone.

Besides, Erin Appledale sounds so down-to earth, like I’m someone you’d approach without hesitation and suddenly find your arms wrapped around my back. Then I’d pluck a lollipop from my Longaberger basket and tweak your cheek.

buy fildena online drsamshay.com/wp-includes/SimplePie/Content/Type/php/fildena.html no prescription

So the other day, when Henry was putting together the lamest portfolio* you ever did see, and he asked, “What do you want to call this?” I was like, “Duh. Erin Appledale’s Ugly Photography.” He left out the “ugly” but kept the Appledale. And I stared at it for a good long while, making love to its sweet farmland charm.

I think people will take to the change. Maybe not my family. My dad might be a little scorned at how disposable his surname is. And besides, it’s been two months now since this seed was planted and I haven’t changed my mind yet. That’s huge.

It was either that or Applebottom.

* So, I placed this ad on Craigslist, offering to take free publicity shots of local bands. I figure, it’s a hobby that calms my nerves and (sort of) keeps me out of trouble, so it’s a win/win. Plus, I’m not a professional and would not feel comfortable charging poor bands for something that I only want to do for fun. Like, a photoshoot with a purpose.

buy lasix online drsamshay.com/wp-includes/SimplePie/Content/Type/php/lasix.html no prescription

Then a local hiphop group answered my ad and I was like, “Oh shit, this is scary.

buy tadasiva online drsamshay.com/wp-includes/SimplePie/Content/Type/php/tadasiva.html no prescription

Now I really have to do this” but they asked to see my portfolio and I was like, “Oh yeah, I’ll get that right to you. HENRY MAKE ME A PORTFOLIO??!!!” And that is why I now have a portfolio for no good reason.

24 comments

24 Comments so far

  1. sarah mascara October 7th, 2008 3:11 pm

    that’s awesome! the photography thing, i mean. and i totally get what you mean about wanting to change your name. i am still mulling over taking the leap of legally changing my name to “sarah mascara”.

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart October 8th, 2008 8:20 am

    Oh please, you should! Sarah Mascara has the prettiest ring to it!

  3. Lauren October 7th, 2008 3:40 pm

    I have the same fucking lame last name problem! My real last name is too common, hence the Urban. Plus some Canadian actress shares my real name which means zero web presence.

    I stole Urban from this kid I knew who was a DJ. I thought he made the Urban up as his DJ name, and years later I found out it was actually his birth name. How fucking lucky to be born with that last name as a DJ? You really can’t do anything else in life with a name like that. Well, maybe it would work for a graffiti artist or something.

    I am all for the Appledale conversion.

  4. Lauren October 7th, 2008 3:42 pm

    DUDE. I just went thru it and it looks incredible!!!

  5. Tuna Tar-Tart October 8th, 2008 8:22 am

    Your name sounds so natural and flow-y, it was a good choice. I couldn’t imagine calling you anything else!

    And thank you!

    I will be hitting up your shop for Xmas very soon!

  6. Lauren October 9th, 2008 2:01 pm

    This, unfortunately, is my real name. Suckage. She SUCKS. If she was a cool tween indie actress a la Christina Ricci, I wouldn’t care so much.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lauren_Collins

    Also, I had an idea to return the Etsy love with something like your cupcakes paintings but With H and I… but we’re really not cupcakes. More like meat pies. Any ideas along those lines, though? The couple painting theme, not the meat pies per se.

  7. Tuna Tar-Tart October 9th, 2008 9:27 pm

    OMG Paige! I’m guilty of indulging in a little DeGrassi here and there. But only because my brother made me.

    Well, now I can’t stop picturing a painting of you and H as whimsical steaks, smiling at each other!

  8. Lauren October 10th, 2008 9:56 am

    Paige, I know… I actually have tons of friends who watch it. I’m just pissed about my inability to get a web presence!

    We love sushi – could you paint us as sushi rolls?!

    I’ll Etsy convo you.

  9. redrachy October 7th, 2008 3:47 pm

    Ok, I’m changing the t-shirt to read “Proud Erin Appledale Fan”.

    I LOVE IT!!! And your portfolio is amazing. You’re so inspiring to know! :)

  10. Tuna Tar-Tart October 8th, 2008 12:18 pm

    That means a lot, Rachy! You always make me feel like I just ate a warm slice of apple pie. <---Quite possibly the cheesiest thing I ever said, but there you have it!

  11. redrachy October 8th, 2008 8:21 pm

    Cheese goes great with pie, Erin. :)
    xox

  12. buenomexicana October 7th, 2008 3:48 pm

    i kind of like applebottom…
    but appledale sounds nice. arouses me less.

    anyway- i think your portfolio is awesome and that these hip-hoppers are lucky to have you taking pics for them.

    now that i think about it- applebottom may have offended them anyway. might of thought you were mocking hip-hop culture you know!?!?!?

  13. Tuna Tar-Tart October 8th, 2008 12:27 pm

    Oh I know!! I always wondered if it was like, breaking some sort of law if a white girl bought a pair of Applebottoms. Because I really want a pair.

  14. CryGaia October 7th, 2008 5:11 pm

    There’s also an Erin Kelly in this cute lesbian love story called “Loving Annabelle”. I actually like the movie, but when I saw the name before I bought it I thought, “Whoa, Erin acts as a lesbian?!” :P

  15. Tuna Tar-Tart October 8th, 2008 12:26 pm

    That’s funny! Now I want to watch that.

  16. kara October 7th, 2008 6:45 pm

    what happened to being Erin Jelly? Chris will be so disappointed if you leave the Jelly behind!

    Those hip hop kids will be lucky to have you take their pictures for them. Seriously!

    also-
    http://community.livejournal.com/pittsburgh/1851288.html

    I saw them asking for a photography and thought of you.

  17. Tuna Tar-Tart October 8th, 2008 12:25 pm

    I really liked Erin Jelly too, but it didn’t have lasting power, I guess.

    The guys in the group are all 27-30, so that makes me feel a little relieved, because I just imagined a bunch of 15-year-old screamo kids answering my ad. I mean, that would be fun and all, but I’d feel a little uncomfortable, like I was a pedophile or something.

    Thanks for showing me that! How awesome that it’s tradition for their family to have pictures taken at Jefferson Memorial. I love that cemetery!

  18. Alyson Hell October 8th, 2008 8:09 am

    You chose the best photos for your portfolio!! I’m so glad someone answered your ad for this–it’ll be fun.

    Erin Appledale is indeed a very homelike and cozy name.

  19. Tuna Tar-Tart October 8th, 2008 12:22 pm

    Thanks! I hope it will be fun. I went to their MySpace and they sound really good (you know I have that inner homegirl in me that can’t deny some good hiphop every now and then, lol).

    I just feel like, with school on hold, I need to be doing things that are productive, and not just sitting on my ass watching TV.

  20. Pynk October 8th, 2008 9:09 am

    Somehow so very fitting:

    wordsmith.org’s Word of the Day:

    hey rube
    PRONUNCIATION:
    (hay roob)

    MEANING:
    noun: 1. A fight between members of a circus and the general public. 2. A call to rally circus members in a fight.

    ETYMOLOGY:
    The term originated in the 19th century when circuses were rowdy affairs and Hey Rube was the rallying cry to call all circus people to help in a fight with townspeople. It’s not clear whether Rube in this term was someone specific or simply a use of the informal term rube (shortened form of Reuben) for an unsophisticated person from a rural area.

    USAGE:
    “I said ‘Shut it, Camel! I’m dealing with a situation here.’ Walter says.
    ‘What kind of situation?’ says Camel.
    “‘Jacob’s messed up.’
    “‘What? How? Was there a hey rube?'”
    Sara Gruen; Water for Elephants; Algonquin Books; 2006.

  21. Tuna Tar-Tart October 8th, 2008 12:20 pm

    Ha! Thank you for sharing this with me!

    I read “Water For Elephants” last year, but I must have glossed over that, or it’d have been incorporated into my vocab for sure. (Really great book, btw – have you read it?)

  22. Pynk October 8th, 2008 12:52 pm

    Not yet. As soon as I clear the $90 fine at the library my asshole ex-husband ran up – I still don’t know how, unless they had porn magazines you could take out – I’m going to renew my library card and that’s on the list. Garage sales have been really bad for books. Either no one’s reading anymore, or they’re holding onto their novels.

  23. Bwake Wobbins October 8th, 2008 10:22 pm

    Dude, Erin Appledale has to be the best name ever.
    And yeah, there’s alot of Erin Kellys out there.
    There is even one in my school that has big boobies,
    but she has like “chest-ne”, or “breast-ne”,
    whatever one makes your gag reflexes go off.

    And yeah, my dad’s an asshole. He makes you wait for everything.
    Little or not. Tell that cock-gobbling asshole to get on track.

    love, blake :D

  24. Tuna Tar-Tart October 9th, 2008 9:13 am

    “but she has like “chest-ne”, or “breast-ne”,
    whatever one makes your gag reflexes go off.”

    OMG. Bad image!! But I can’t stop laughing.

    Your dad is a procrastinator! I’m surprised he actually put that portfolio together the same day I told him to. That almost never happens.

Leave a comment