Oct 072008

I really want to change my name to Erin Appledale. I mean, consider how many Erin Kellys there are in the world. There were TWO OTHER Erin Kellys going to Pitt the same time I was. So that’s at least three Erin Kellys that I know of in this city alone.

Besides, Erin Appledale sounds so down-to earth, like I’m someone you’d approach without hesitation and suddenly find your arms wrapped around my back. Then I’d pluck a lollipop from my Longaberger basket and tweak your cheek.

So the other day, when Henry was putting together the lamest portfolio* you ever did see, and he asked, “What do you want to call this?” I was like, “Duh. Erin Appledale’s Ugly Photography.” He left out the “ugly” but kept the Appledale. And I stared at it for a good long while, making love to its sweet farmland charm.

I think people will take to the change. Maybe not my family. My dad might be a little scorned at how disposable his surname is. And besides, it’s been two months now since this seed was planted and I haven’t changed my mind yet. That’s huge.

It was either that or Applebottom.

* So, I placed this ad on Craigslist, offering to take free publicity shots of local bands. I figure, it’s a hobby that calms my nerves and (sort of) keeps me out of trouble, so it’s a win/win. Plus, I’m not a professional and would not feel comfortable charging poor bands for something that I only want to do for fun. Like, a photoshoot with a purpose.

Then a local hiphop group answered my ad and I was like, “Oh shit, this is scary.

Now I really have to do this” but they asked to see my portfolio and I was like, “Oh yeah, I’ll get that right to you. HENRY MAKE ME A PORTFOLIO??!!!” And that is why I now have a portfolio for no good reason.

  24 Responses to “Introducing Erin Appledale”

  1. that’s awesome! the photography thing, i mean. and i totally get what you mean about wanting to change your name. i am still mulling over taking the leap of legally changing my name to “sarah mascara”.

  2. I have the same fucking lame last name problem! My real last name is too common, hence the Urban. Plus some Canadian actress shares my real name which means zero web presence.

    I stole Urban from this kid I knew who was a DJ. I thought he made the Urban up as his DJ name, and years later I found out it was actually his birth name. How fucking lucky to be born with that last name as a DJ? You really can’t do anything else in life with a name like that. Well, maybe it would work for a graffiti artist or something.

    I am all for the Appledale conversion.

    • DUDE. I just went thru it and it looks incredible!!!

    • Your name sounds so natural and flow-y, it was a good choice. I couldn’t imagine calling you anything else!

      And thank you!

      I will be hitting up your shop for Xmas very soon!

      • This, unfortunately, is my real name. Suckage. She SUCKS. If she was a cool tween indie actress a la Christina Ricci, I wouldn’t care so much.


        Also, I had an idea to return the Etsy love with something like your cupcakes paintings but With H and I… but we’re really not cupcakes. More like meat pies. Any ideas along those lines, though? The couple painting theme, not the meat pies per se.

        • OMG Paige! I’m guilty of indulging in a little DeGrassi here and there. But only because my brother made me.

          Well, now I can’t stop picturing a painting of you and H as whimsical steaks, smiling at each other!

        • Paige, I know… I actually have tons of friends who watch it. I’m just pissed about my inability to get a web presence!

          We love sushi – could you paint us as sushi rolls?!

          I’ll Etsy convo you.

  3. Ok, I’m changing the t-shirt to read “Proud Erin Appledale Fan”.

    I LOVE IT!!! And your portfolio is amazing. You’re so inspiring to know! :)

  4. i kind of like applebottom…
    but appledale sounds nice. arouses me less.

    anyway- i think your portfolio is awesome and that these hip-hoppers are lucky to have you taking pics for them.

    now that i think about it- applebottom may have offended them anyway. might of thought you were mocking hip-hop culture you know!?!?!?

  5. There’s also an Erin Kelly in this cute lesbian love story called “Loving Annabelle”. I actually like the movie, but when I saw the name before I bought it I thought, “Whoa, Erin acts as a lesbian?!” :P

  6. what happened to being Erin Jelly? Chris will be so disappointed if you leave the Jelly behind!

    Those hip hop kids will be lucky to have you take their pictures for them. Seriously!


    I saw them asking for a photography and thought of you.

    • I really liked Erin Jelly too, but it didn’t have lasting power, I guess.

      The guys in the group are all 27-30, so that makes me feel a little relieved, because I just imagined a bunch of 15-year-old screamo kids answering my ad. I mean, that would be fun and all, but I’d feel a little uncomfortable, like I was a pedophile or something.

      Thanks for showing me that! How awesome that it’s tradition for their family to have pictures taken at Jefferson Memorial. I love that cemetery!

  7. You chose the best photos for your portfolio!! I’m so glad someone answered your ad for this–it’ll be fun.

    Erin Appledale is indeed a very homelike and cozy name.

    • Thanks! I hope it will be fun. I went to their MySpace and they sound really good (you know I have that inner homegirl in me that can’t deny some good hiphop every now and then, lol).

      I just feel like, with school on hold, I need to be doing things that are productive, and not just sitting on my ass watching TV.

  8. Somehow so very fitting:

    wordsmith.org’s Word of the Day:

    hey rube
    (hay roob)

    noun: 1. A fight between members of a circus and the general public. 2. A call to rally circus members in a fight.

    The term originated in the 19th century when circuses were rowdy affairs and Hey Rube was the rallying cry to call all circus people to help in a fight with townspeople. It’s not clear whether Rube in this term was someone specific or simply a use of the informal term rube (shortened form of Reuben) for an unsophisticated person from a rural area.

    “I said ‘Shut it, Camel! I’m dealing with a situation here.’ Walter says.
    ‘What kind of situation?’ says Camel.
    “‘Jacob’s messed up.’
    “‘What? How? Was there a hey rube?'”
    Sara Gruen; Water for Elephants; Algonquin Books; 2006.

    • Ha! Thank you for sharing this with me!

      I read “Water For Elephants” last year, but I must have glossed over that, or it’d have been incorporated into my vocab for sure. (Really great book, btw – have you read it?)

      • Not yet. As soon as I clear the $90 fine at the library my asshole ex-husband ran up – I still don’t know how, unless they had porn magazines you could take out – I’m going to renew my library card and that’s on the list. Garage sales have been really bad for books. Either no one’s reading anymore, or they’re holding onto their novels.

  9. Dude, Erin Appledale has to be the best name ever.
    And yeah, there’s alot of Erin Kellys out there.
    There is even one in my school that has big boobies,
    but she has like “chest-ne”, or “breast-ne”,
    whatever one makes your gag reflexes go off.

    And yeah, my dad’s an asshole. He makes you wait for everything.
    Little or not. Tell that cock-gobbling asshole to get on track.

    love, blake :D

    • “but she has like “chest-ne”, or “breast-ne”,
      whatever one makes your gag reflexes go off.”

      OMG. Bad image!! But I can’t stop laughing.

      Your dad is a procrastinator! I’m surprised he actually put that portfolio together the same day I told him to. That almost never happens.

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