Oct 30

tweets are about to go ballistic

Category: tweets

Urgent. Will die without reading.

  • 15:17 Oh thank fuck, I won the ebay auction for a Canadian-made gas mask. CLOSE ONE. #
  • 20:10 Coming home to the Chiodos re-issue and a Lubitel temporarily made me hate life a little less. But tomorrow’s a new day!!! #
  • 11:12 I want a nanny for xmas. Or my own apartment where I can live alone. I might even consider a jail cell. #
  • 15:23 According to a one “Hammerin’ Hank,” I am a bitch of the highest order. And he disagrees with the title of my blog. #
  • 21:39 twitpic.com/iozy – “Ma, I color’d yous a pitchur oh yes I did” #
  • 21:47 twitpic.com/ip1b – “I sell this on Etsy now, mommy?” #

  • 15:10 Just the other day, I wrote in my diary how I couldn’t wait to drive to work in a snowstorm. My diary, the genie. #
  • 19:12 Me: “I like creepy stuff.” My boss, double-fisting the sarcasm: “Orly? Because I couldn’t tell.” #
  • 09:07 Sitting next to my son as he wails I HAVE THAT??? I HAVE THAT! HERE PLZ at every commercial on Nickelodeon is better than breakfast. #
  • 09:11 YES CHOOCH you can have the Hannah Montana Stylin’ Head. I’ll even throw in a training bra, I’m so nice. #
  • 11:28 Thank you, Jerry Maguire, for lassoing my child’s attention long enough for my stress level to drop a point. #
  • 11:32 Thank you, Jerry Maguire, for teaching my son to chant I’M FUCKED. #

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8 comments

8 Comments so far

  1. buenomexicana October 30th, 2008 12:53 pm

    According to a one “Hammerin’ Hank,” I am a bitch of the highest order. And he disagrees with the title of my blog.

    hammerin’ hank is a fag.

  2. Francesco October 30th, 2008 3:49 pm

    what’s this I hear about double-fisting and cross-dressing children?

    It’s exactly this kind of fucking shit that keeps me coming back to this blog.

    the fucking shit = homestyle biscuits

    I CANNOT GET ENOUGH

    now go harass henry and write about it for my amusement

  3. priest October 30th, 2008 7:00 pm

    Lubitel? How many toy camera’s are you planning on collecting?

  4. priest October 31st, 2008 12:29 am

    btw, i hate life too. Do you think there’s a club for that, or maybe we can start one and at least make some money from it :)

  5. Tuna Tar-Tart October 31st, 2008 11:39 am

    We seriously should. I always wanted to acquire a taste for Scotch, because it seems like the proper life-hating beverage, right?

  6. priest October 31st, 2008 4:40 pm

    Yes, Scotch, definitely…..maybe hemlock, no, scotch works.

  7. pumpkin October 31st, 2008 10:04 am

    Sister, I can sympathize on the tweet about the nanny! I love my little Lila and Rocky (the hubby), but sometimes I just want to GET AWAY, from both of them.

    That’s usually when I go admire your photography or come read your blog and escape into a world of pig masks and julio’s jelly.

    Thank you for the escape.

  8. Pynk October 31st, 2008 11:30 am

    Somehow I think the ratings for “Nanny 911” would go up if you guys were featured on the show.

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