Urgent. Will die without reading.

• 13:58 In a moment of desperation, had Henry cut my bangs. At first I looked like Lady Gaga but its growing on me. My stylist is gonna be mad. #
• 14:51 If u ask Henry what his fave thing is about me, he might not say: when she sings the Weeble song at deafening volumes. #
• 16:53 Depending on how u look at it, my bangs either make me look like a brooklyn hipster, or Girl Interrupted. Thanks, Henri! #
• 11:54 Dreamt some kid I hate had a web show where he wore a bonnet and slapped stickers on a wall. Now I want to recreate that. #
• 11:56 Have the bonnet and stickers. Just need a fatsuit, acne, and an alarmingly obnoxious lack of tact. Oh, and a John Waters shirt. #

• 20:17 My male boss and the male manager have been talking about diets and caloric intake for the past thirty minutes. #
• 09:52 I must give off a vibe that screams “no really, don’t return my phone calls! I get off when friends reject me!” #
• 13:06 Chooch should feel honored that he’s the only one who can make Satan’s daughter Marcy, who made 2 ppl bleed at game nite, hide in fear. #
• 15:55 I wish there was a 24hr Real World channel. Toss some Road Rules in there and I might even pay extra for it. #
• 23:09 I’m going to have more parties this year. Next up: quilting bee. #
• 23:38 Henry’s thoughts on Bromance: Why don’t they all just touch dicks and get it over with? #

• 10:21 We’re having melted pot handle and burnt milk for breakfast. Maybe I’ll sprinkle in some salmonella for some added zest. #
• 10:23 I wonder if Wonder Hangers could even help organize the bodies hanging in my closet. #