I do this every year, because let’s face it, I enjoy pretending like it’s third grade and I’m opening my little handmade Elmer’s-soggy mailbox while scraping the icing off a cupcake and simulatneously deep-throating a heart-shaped sucker, and then rifling through all the chicken-scratched, store-bought Valentines until I find the ones that come wrapped with candy.

You know, back when Valentine’s Day meant something.

Get your own valentinr

If you have one, link me to it! I like writing Valentine wishes. Because inside, I’m just a vat of churned marshmallow fluff.

Forget what you heard.