Mar 022009

Earth-shattering updates throughout the day. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

  • 14:47 — This bitch tried to friend me on Facebook. Boy, I wish I could add her TWICE! #
  • 17:11 Chooch was looking at my old LiveJournal user icons & yelled “UGH IM SCARED” before fleeing. I miss my icons. And comment parties w/ myself. #
  • 17:39 Making Janna put Chooch’s car seat in her car. I wouldn’t want to break a nail. #
  • 18:02 Chooch questioned my authority. Because I’m an adult, Chooch. & if I want to kill a bitch, I’m gon’ kill a bitch. #
  • 19:18 Chuck E Cheese can suck it. I was in tears before we even walked in. #
  • 20:25 Chooch is in the backseat, deliriously spouting off Lost Boys quotes. #
  • 21:10 I believe Chooch just called his puzzle a drunk bitch. #
  • 21:43 Chooch is quickly learning that Janna is a derelict who at times needs things spelled out. #
  • 22:42 “Come see the monster, Mommy. Come see her. Out the window. Look at her.” NOT WHAT MOMMY WANTS TO HEAR, SON. #
  • 22:57 Trying to make Henry check on the monster situation. #

  • 00:03 Swear I just heard Henry telling our cat Marcy to shake her blood stain. #
  • 09:00 Stupidly thought about nipple amputation & now I can’t stop writhing in imagined anguish. #

  • 11:15 – Dyanna is spoiling me. #
  • 11:16 I’m eating cashew and fig ice cream for breakfast. I might not leave this place. Ever. #
  • 11:18 I feel like a country girl, going to the Big City & seeing a strip club for the first time #
  • 15:11 A 3-year-old & 16-year-old are fighting in the backseat. #
  • 15:15 You’re never fully dressed without a smile, @awoodhick. #
  • 16:00 Found two rusty knives near a field, like fucking serendipity. #
  • 16:21 OUR SONG is on right now at Denny’s but @awoodhick doesn’t care since he likes men now. #
  • 16:31 – This one has pee and this one has poop. #
  • 17:08 Awesome. I just purse-dialed a woman who is trying to get me a job. And she already thought I was a retard prior to this. #

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  6 Responses to “Tweets Love Waffles”

  1. the fuck kind of name is “Mindy” anyhow?

    It’s more an adjective than a name.

    “Pick up these mindy toys off the floor!”
    “It’s so mindy outside today!”

  2. 17:08 wait, that’s MY signature move. and it’s almost always someone important. or my mom. and when i’m cussing and yelling, too.

    i must have cashew and fig ice cream. i have a feeling this will go unfulfilled, except for in PBurg.

    and now, of course, i am also thinking about amputated nipples……

    • Oh Merry, it was a delight! The ice cream place has like, 100 mix-ins. I was so overwhelmed, but that was the combo I went with off the top of my head and it was amazing. Surely someone must make it though!

      I hope one day you can visit!

  3. You’re on Facebook and didn’t tell me? DUDE.

    *runs and friends*

    Chooch needs to respect your authoritaaaay!

Say it don't spray it.

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