Mar 172009

Earth-shattering updates throughout the day. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

  • 15:01 About to thieve balloons from a car dealership. #
  • 16:19 Clown shoes are not meant for hiking. #
  • 17:40 Shoot outs make me nervous. #
  • 21:26 Chooch just breezed past me, nudely holding a pink balloon. #
  • 21:30 Watching The Song Remains The Same on mute while listening to Norma Jean is fun, but some acid would make it funnerrrr. #
  • 22:45 Henry said that the only thing his ex-wife does better than me is cook. It was such a touching moment!! #

  • 12:37 Held Christina’s hand through her virginal Cupcake Experience. She won’t admit it, but strawberry frosting gave her goosebumps. #
  • 17:07 This hockey game is not good for my blood pressure. I feel like I need to get in a bar fight now. #
  • 17:15 I was a little overzealous with the last Penguin goal as evidenced by the new red hue of my knuckles. Chooch was like “wtf asshole bitch.” #
  • 18:13 Walking past bra aisle, chooch goes “I have boobs? Like hers? Strawberry?” Hopefully he means boobs to touch, not to grow. #
  • 18:15 – I want I want I want. #
  • 20:39 Dear universe, you gave me everything I wanted this weekend. Now I’m scared to see what happens next. Go easy, plz. Toodles. #

  • 17:07 This is my first time watching Short Circuit as an adult. I am prepared to not be ashamed when I inevitably cry. #
  • 17:10 After watching one blow up his favorite things in the world (cars), Chooch declared that he hates robots. #
  • 19:29 I’ve been stuck in a preschool vortex all day. I’m a fucking counting pro now. #
  • 21:58 Totally let a three-year-old convince me a monster was coming and I screamed so loud he jumped. It was just our stupid cat. #

  • 11:08 my new “prize and joy”: (via @addthis) #
  • 11:09 i haven’t given a shit about st pattys day since my stepdad chucked a fork at me when i was 12 & it got lodged in my knuckles. Oh ho ho ho. #
  • 14:04 Me: “I’m almost at 500 hearts!” Christina: “Now, this is on Etsy, and not how many you’ve broken in your life?” #

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  One Response to “st shitty day tweets”

  1. Best tweet: Chooch just breezed past me, nudely holding a pink balloon.

    It’s such a boy thing, even if the balloon was pink.

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