Urgent. Will die without reading.

• 13:31 Ordering at Panera makes me nervous. #
• 15:52 It’s only the 1st period. It’s only the 1st period. It’s only the 1st period. #
• 15:55 I blame Janna & Alisha. It’s all their fault. They’re hexing the Pens. I’ll sacrifice them tonight. #
• 16:22 I wish the Internet could have heard Janna’s lame hockey applause. In mocking her, I hurt my tattoo. OK GOD, I HEAR YA. #
• 16:58 According to Pierre Maguire, the Penguins “think” they’re still in it. I would love to meet that dickhead in an alley someday. #
• 18:41 So tired of lies. #
• 19:20 Chooch is singing “Annie” songs in a crackly demon child / Ju-on voice & I really wish he would stop. #
• 19:42 Me: “I can blow out. And in.” Alisha: “that’s how u got ur reputation.” WAS TALKING ABT WHISTLING, THX. #
  

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• 00:07 I need to either: stop writing with Chooch around, get an editor, stop writing altogether. #
• 00:10 Also, I might want to stop telling people that Henry is two years older than he really is. (Yes, I just learned his actual age 1 min ago) #
• 09:11 Wish the radio would stop playing soundbytes of the Flyers goals. #
• 10:17 Was just called a cocky bitch. By a three-year-old. #
• 13:14 If Henry gets Salary Shield, it won’t matter if he dies! #
• 18:22 Chooch put on Public Access. “Eye In the Sky” by Alan Parsons Project & “B/C I Luv U” by Stevie B played back2back. Will kill self now. #
• 18:23 Just for that, I hope that “Eye in the Sky” haunts Chooch for his entire life, like it has for me. That fucking song. #
• 18:42 @daboogmang oh, I am SO going to dip my balls in it. #
• 19:10 twitpic.com/3olhs – I guess seeing the pictures on the pieces makes it too easy or something. #
• 19:19 Um, if a hockey player is laying facedown, kicking the ice with his skates, do you think maybe he’s hurt? Just wondering. #
• 20:25 Chooch got hurt at the grocery store. He does not wish to pursue a lawsuit at this time. #
  

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• 09:55 Today is a dark synthpop day. #
• 11:51 I cut myself, but the wound is not big enough for Chooch’s liking. #
• 14:30 Tired of sloshing through all the bullshit to find the good in people. #
• 15:45 There’s no way I’d ever be able to get married without the Hollywood Bump-It by my side. Or, on top of my dome, as it were. #
• 18:46 I’m looking into an extended stay in an isolation tank. #
• 19:06 This might come as a surprise to some, but I am a really good heckler. #
• 20:51 Chooch dreams of pretzels, eyeballs and eating Robert Smith’s boob. Wonder what the dream book says about that. #
• 21:23 If I was a Penguin, I’d totally blow Fleury after the game. #
• 21:46 It’s always sunny in Philadelphia. Except for when the douche-drinking Flyers lose to the Penguins! #
  

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• 08:57 Opening the fridge, Chooch goes “Did daddy buy me yogurt?” Made a mad noise when he saw none. Get used to the let-down, pal. I have. #
• 09:15 I’ve seen replay of the Hurricanes 0 second goal 126x already and it still hasn’t gotten old. I still hate the ‘Canes, though. #
• 10:46 Going all Freddy Krueger on someone’s bullshit-stenched written last words feels very cathartic. #
• 10:58 My smart son threw out one of his toys because it was given to him by “some bitch who made mommy cry.” I love him, he knows what’s up. #

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