Apr 222009

Urgent. Will die without reading.

  • 13:31 Ordering at Panera makes me nervous. #
  • 15:52 It’s only the 1st period. It’s only the 1st period. It’s only the 1st period. #
  • 15:55 I blame Janna & Alisha. It’s all their fault. They’re hexing the Pens. I’ll sacrifice them tonight. #
  • 16:22 I wish the Internet could have heard Janna’s lame hockey applause. In mocking her, I hurt my tattoo. OK GOD, I HEAR YA. #
  • 16:58 According to Pierre Maguire, the Penguins “think” they’re still in it. I would love to meet that dickhead in an alley someday. #
  • 18:41 So tired of lies. #
  • 19:20 Chooch is singing “Annie” songs in a crackly demon child / Ju-on voice & I really wish he would stop. #
  • 19:42 Me: “I can blow out. And in.” Alisha: “that’s how u got ur reputation.” WAS TALKING ABT WHISTLING, THX. #

  • 00:07 I need to either: stop writing with Chooch around, get an editor, stop writing altogether. #
  • 00:10 Also, I might want to stop telling people that Henry is two years older than he really is. (Yes, I just learned his actual age 1 min ago) #
  • 09:11 Wish the radio would stop playing soundbytes of the Flyers goals. #
  • 10:17 Was just called a cocky bitch. By a three-year-old. #
  • 13:14 If Henry gets Salary Shield, it won’t matter if he dies! #
  • 18:22 Chooch put on Public Access. “Eye In the Sky” by Alan Parsons Project & “B/C I Luv U” by Stevie B played back2back. Will kill self now. #
  • 18:23 Just for that, I hope that “Eye in the Sky” haunts Chooch for his entire life, like it has for me. That fucking song. #
  • 18:42 @daboogmang oh, I am SO going to dip my balls in it. #
  • 19:10 twitpic.com/3olhs – I guess seeing the pictures on the pieces makes it too easy or something. #
  • 19:19 Um, if a hockey player is laying facedown, kicking the ice with his skates, do you think maybe he’s hurt? Just wondering. #
  • 20:25 Chooch got hurt at the grocery store. He does not wish to pursue a lawsuit at this time. #

  • 09:55 Today is a dark synthpop day. #
  • 11:51 I cut myself, but the wound is not big enough for Chooch’s liking. #
  • 14:30 Tired of sloshing through all the bullshit to find the good in people. #
  • 15:45 There’s no way I’d ever be able to get married without the Hollywood Bump-It by my side. Or, on top of my dome, as it were. #
  • 18:46 I’m looking into an extended stay in an isolation tank. #
  • 19:06 This might come as a surprise to some, but I am a really good heckler. #
  • 20:51 Chooch dreams of pretzels, eyeballs and eating Robert Smith’s boob. Wonder what the dream book says about that. #
  • 21:23 If I was a Penguin, I’d totally blow Fleury after the game. #
  • 21:46 It’s always sunny in Philadelphia. Except for when the douche-drinking Flyers lose to the Penguins! #

  • 08:57 Opening the fridge, Chooch goes “Did daddy buy me yogurt?” Made a mad noise when he saw none. Get used to the let-down, pal. I have. #
  • 09:15 I’ve seen replay of the Hurricanes 0 second goal 126x already and it still hasn’t gotten old. I still hate the ‘Canes, though. #
  • 10:46 Going all Freddy Krueger on someone’s bullshit-stenched written last words feels very cathartic. #
  • 10:58 My smart son threw out one of his toys because it was given to him by “some bitch who made mommy cry.” I love him, he knows what’s up. #

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  5 Responses to “erin’s tweets, annoying the internet since 2007”

  1. i hate that i actually want one of those stupid bump-it things.

    • Same, but then I imagine sticking one on my head, and decorating the ridiculous dome with rhinestones and glitter spray. Maybe go outside like that, in a robe, and fraternize with Robin, see how many car-honks I can rack up.

  2. I’m quite impressed by your level of fanaticism for the Pens, now if we can just get you to react the same way for the Steelers…….

  3. If I was a Penguin, I’d totally blow Fleury after the game.

    YES PLZ!!

Say it don't spray it.

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