May 112009

Earth-shattering updates throughout the day. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

  • 17:46 Some people really bring out my malicious side & I don’t feel as bad abt that as I should. Unless I end up in jail. Then I might feel bad. #
  • 18:32 I swear to god I wasn’t the one who made a death threat against Alex Ovechkin. Besides, mine would have been way more awesome. #
  • 19:15 Chooch, the curator of my home gallery, is trying to sell paintings to Janna. He doesn’t yet know that she’s a tightwad. #
  • 12:04 My aunt just asked me if I know how to use a microwave. A fair inquiry. #
  • 20:23 How am I supposed to watch hockey with a shredded throat. #
  • 21:10 That’s right, Sergei Gonchar. Fuck my throat. #
  • 21:38 That game was worth every excruciating scream. #

  • 13:01 Was just given a drug cocktail by @saucalisha & now I’m afraid that an OD is imminent. Henry tried to explain that a person should be OK. #
  • 13:01 I felt relieved until he followed it with, “but who knows with you.” #
  • 13:07 Was just accused of having a stripper stance. #
  • 14:33 I am in the back of a van, spectating a sensual hand-washing in the front. #
  • 14:53 Glad I brought Alisha with me because she’s giving Bill & Jessi a nice earful of Pittsburgh, whereas I’d be like “this is pgh, the end.” #
  • 15:04 Wish @bed_in_revolt would stop taking weird pictures of me! #
  • 15:37 Jesus Christ, Alisha knows A LOT about Pittsburgh. #
  • 16:56 Pre-hockey party at Mad Mex! Except I’m the only one excited. #
  • 18:22 Henry has a night stick!? #
  • 21:52 Motherfucking PENGUINS!!!!!! I accidentally kicked Chooch’s bike in my celebration and I don’t care!!! #
  • 22:46 – Bed-In on Bill. #
  • 23:24 So far, I have not succumbed to all the drugs Alisha gave me, though there was a close call during dinner at Mad Mex. #

  • 10:40 – Haahahahaaha #
  • 10:49 Alisha to Chooch: “you’re a bad liar.” Chooch: “CHRISTINA is a liar!” My son’s got my back. #
  • 13:33 Staple guns make me feel powerful. #
  • 13:48 – Eyeball pinata for the what now #
  • 14:07 Chooch’s party is hobo-themed, apparently. #
  • 16:49 It’s hard to tweet when your phone is in a garbage can. #
  • 20:15 I hope that one day I can have a birthday party as fun as Chooch’s. Only, I’d like strippers at mine. And a hookah. And hockey. #
  • 20:34 Thanks to @bed_in_revolt, I’m a ho for screamin’ dill pickle Pringles. I might even dole out bj’s for a super stack. MIGHT. #
  • 20:58 @roughdiction if I already have the dill pickle chips, there’d be no need for superfluous bj’s. #
  • 22:36 New neighbors who moved in next door think that 10:30pm on a Sunday is an appropriate time to hammer & drill. I’m gonna love these people. #

  • 10:41 Was reminding Chooch how many people came to see him yesterday at his party & he goes “Yeah, & Alisha!” I KNEW she wasn’t a real person. #
  • 11:43 I’m pretty certain Chooch caused one of my cats to run away. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter. Now you can rest easy, knowing my (sometimes incriminating) inner-most thoughts and actions.

  4 Responses to “tweets douche nasally”

  1. 3? 3!

    I can’t believe he’s three. Sigh.

  2. From Blue’s Clues to Lost Boys! He’s grown so much!

    Um…what’s Henry doing with a nightstick?

    • I have no idea why he has one! I just asked him again and he very suspiciously stammered, “I dunno, I’ve had it since high school.”

      So much about Henry is an enigma.

Say it don't spray it.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.