May 272009


Look, I know I messed up. Believe me. The jagger bush you stuffed inside my pillow case did not go unnoticed. Nor did the chicken bone in my fiber water.

Apparently a simple apology is just that — too simple.

Flowers? They got pitched in the trash.

So look, I plucked this star for you on my way home from work, snatched it right the hell out of the sky, and that was really freakin’ hard to do.

(Actually, please don’t ask me how I did it because I’m pretty sure I broke at least two dozen laws.


Now will you please forgive me for deleting last week’s “Lost” before you watched it?

Say it don't spray it.

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