Jun 16 2009
Art Promo: Epeiric Encounter
“I haven’t seen you in five months.”
A swish of a tentacle, a tug at the collar.
“But were you even looking?”
Eyes to the side, up to the water’s rippling skin, back to the side again.
“Where did you go?”
A tentacular twirl of marigenous wrack.
“To my mother’s.”
A memory of a lavender-shingled cove near an acreage of coral.
“Are you still angry about that night?”
A pregnant pause sagging under the weight of a sextet of awkward moments.
“You know I didn’t want to go there with you.”
A brain being racked for piteous excuses.
“It’s not rape if you yell ‘surprise!'”
The sound of a pin plunking to the ocean floor.
“I didn’t yell ‘surprise!'”
And when he buoyed there, silently entombed in his guilt, she continued, “And neither did you.”
An indignant scoff, swaddled in algal phlegm, bubbled from his throat’s depths.
“Yes, I did. I totally yelled ‘surprise!’ right after I stuck my finger in your—“
A horrified interruption by her.
“No! No, you didn’t. You thanked me for being a double-D and then you left me in the trunk of that sunken Fiat.”
“Oh. Well anyway, it was great to see you.”
A NOTE: I was telling Henry about this one yesterday.
“And it’s kind of like ocean creatures of sorts, so maybe it will have a more mainstream appeal.” Henry agreed with this, and I continued. ” Except the story that goes with it is about rape.”
And Henry threw up his arms in exasperation. “That’s where you lose people, with your stupid stories.”
And he’s probably right, but I can’t help myself. It’s like a sickness and the art just feels naked without the words. But for the record, people can opt out of my “stupid” stories upon request. I’ll only cry for a few hours, then I’ll smack myself in the face with an iron dustpan and move on.
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I think your stories totally complete the art. Henry is a fuddy-duddy! :D
He really is, this is true! I don’t know why I consider his opinion anyway because he rarely reads the stories, that asshole.
The stories are the best part! I display the “Love Deficit” story along with the painting in my cube at work… sometimes someone even reads it!
Thank you Dawny! That made my day!
your stories own. so they dont apply to henry’s demographic. his demographic is plaid flannel, beer, and corn nuts
WHATEVS HENRY! DO YOU HEAR ME? A BIG FAT WHATEVS
erin come over here. i almost raped a guy in the supermarket he was so goddamn hot. i cant even handle it
I wish I lived in a cooler city so that when I’d say, “Come move in with me, Francesco, Swedish Edition!” you’d be all, “Hellz yeah that’d own!” instead of, “OHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, IN PITTSBURGH? BITCH PLZ.”
I have Swedish-envy.
i didnt even realize people could be this hot. even people who work at mcdonalds are hot… MCDONALDS
PEOPLE TOO DUMB AND UGLY TO HAVE ANY REAL OPTIONS IN LIFE THAT WORK AT MCDONALDS, HERE, ARE MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN 90% OF PEOPLE I SEE ON THE DAILY BACK HOME
kudos on me for bringing rohypnol… and them for being so trusting
did i for real just say that your stories ‘own’???
i cant even articulate how deeply that fails
omg
i cant brain today
i have the dumb
That’s because your brain is in SWEDEN, amid hot SWEDES. I can’t hate on that!
erin you dont even know. there was this construction worker duder guy ripping up some grass or some shit holy shiiiiiiiiit he was sexy
i fall in love no less than 50 times a day EVERY day
I love your stories… especially this one. :o) Although, I have to say that James doesn’t get them either… he gets a worried look on his face when I tell him to read one because, “omg you have to read this one — it’s so funny!” Maybe James and Henry should hang out in their old man slippers sometime soon… or maybe i just have a sick sense of humor?
old man slippers —> http://tinyurl.com/5w6wl7
I think maybe both! Henry definitely needs some friends. I would love to see him and James shuffling around in some grandpa slippers.
So far I’ve only been asked one time to edit out the swear words in one of the stories, lol. If I painted country landscapes, that would be so fake of me. I dunno. I’ve definitely had people be all, “Um, ok” when I gave them one of my cards but I think it takes a certain brand of freak to like this stuff, lol. I’ll never figure it out!
This is late and I’m sorry. Everything about this I like. The painting is really cute (love their eyes!) and the story made me laugh. I completely think having stories with the pictures is the best way to go. They’re always so good.