Earth-shattering updates throughout the day, brought to you by Tart-Tits. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

• 16:58 I never thought when I saw 3Oh3! at Warped Tour that I’d be hearing them a year later on So You Think You Can Dance. #
• 16:58 @saucalisha I REALLY WANT STREUDEL. #
• 20:06 Apparently, we have a mallet. I know this because my son just walked in the room & almost struck me dead with it. #
• 21:28 I should start wearing a bonnet during any sort of sexual activities, like gang rapes & cock choppings. #
• 21:32 I should also wear a bonnet while eating streudel, & then use the tag #appropriatebonnetoccasions #
• 22:41 Someone better give me a Prayer Cross for my birthday so I can gaze with amazement. Haven’t gazed like that since I saw prosthetic leg porn. #
  

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• 10:42 Sometimes I like to give Henry recaps from the last Degrassi episode I watched. Often he thinks I’m talking about real people. Wish I was:( #
• 12:12 Today, we buy a helmet for the klutz. Probably would be a good idea to pick one up for the kid, too. #
• 13:02 Made coupons for my shop & each discount code is a 70s porn star. Just call them couPORNS if you will. I love them. #
• 14:14 I don’t know why everyone hates my Summer Jamz, Holla mix CD. I can tell you it makes me raise the roof, that’s how BUCK it is. #
• 14:21 twitpic.com/8l6mt – BUTTERFLIES. #
• 15:38 Henry, after I tried to put windows down in the car wash: I locked them. Me: Why!? Henry: B/c I knew you’d try to put them down? #
• 18:15 If you could see my jackass son right now, you’d think he was abused, thanks to all the facial/head marring from three separate incidents. #
• 19:38 Henry & I are engaged in a sort of relationship repair olympics. He got me sushi & red bean mochi ice cream. Good for the silver. #
• 19:39 Revolutionary War porn for the gold. #
• 19:41 I looked out the window in time to see a tree walking down my driveway. #
  

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• 00:55 Henry should compliment me more on my wonderful dairy. And then I’ll say “Isn’t he wonderful?” as I watch him urinate in the wild. #
• 14:00 Men have all the answers. Thank god for men. #
• 21:58 Purposely drove through some dangerous areas & nothing happened. Dratsies. #
  

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• 00:49 Whenever I go thru the motions, I’m always left with a sticky residue. #
• 10:29 Some broad @ my neighbor’s mistook Chooch’s chin-bruise for dirt & tried to scrub it. Henry informed her that he’s just abused, not dirty #
• 10:41 Interesting. Ex-bff is on my blog right now. #

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