Aug 25

LoudTwitter, back in the hizzy

Category: tweets

Earth-shattering updates throughout the day, brought to you by Tart-Tits. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

  • 00:25 Hay look @ the dumb! Chooch: Taking on the Neighborhood: Chooch is going through that pha.. #
  • 10:29 Chooch is more believable acting like a monster than a human. #
  • 18:01 – Sandwich in one hand, junk in the other. Typical man. #
  • 20:51 Swear Alisha just said “nipple-sized” hail. It was nickel. Same difference. #
  • 11:47 MY JONNY CRAIG CD CAME TODAY OMG. You can’t see me but I honestly set my phone down to fan myself. #
  • 14:07 You know what would be awesome? If Henry gave a shit about anything that goes on in my life. But that’s probably asking too much. #
  • 14:36 Some people should really stop thinking that they won. #
  • 18:09 Two Thrice tickets: officially procured. November is way too far away. #
  • 19:57 If there’s one thing I hate more than the time I had to get a rogue condom removed, it’s sitting in the car while Henry shops car parts. #
  • 20:26 I just smelled a haunted house. Or was that the musty bouquet of an old person (Henry)? #
  • 21:47 Dear Diary, 2day I listened 2 Jonny Craig in the car & my sunglasses caught my tears. Had sushi 4 dinner & I miss writing. xoxo, this girl. #
  • 22:49 You have a Queen. Why would you settle for a fucking maid? #
  • 12:34 Via Henry: Chooch told an austistic girl in the library that she was talking crazy. Good job, Chooch. #
  • 15:28 Alisha: “are you SURE your mom’s never told you about a time you fell down a multitude of steps & landed on your head?” #
  • 15:36 Don’t tell me you wouldn’t laugh if you witnessed a small boy almost dumping his grandma out of a wheelchair. I had to duck in an aisle. #
  • 15:57 Babies are so stupid. #
  • 15:59 Apparently my prolific referencing of Degrassi is annoying to some people ALISHA PRIDDY. #
  • 16:09 In the grocery store, some small boy said I look like Sam from iCarly & I swear I blinked the letters W T F. #
  • 17: 01 Hanging a shower curtain with purple & black striped fingerless gloved hands ended up not being as glamorous as I had hoped. #
  • 17:13 – My new gloves0rz. That is not my cat. #
  • 17:51 Alisha’s making me lift heavy shelves in Target to work off the $1 pair of fingerless gloves she’s buying me. I’m not sure if that’s fair? #
  • 18:21 – Alisha’s massaging her inner carpenter with the aid of a pink tool set. #
  • 19:12 Henry’s here 2 flex his testosterone & save the shelf Alisha put together backward. Asked if she got her toolkit fr om the lesbo catalogue. #
  • 21:51 Hay look @ the dumb! Shopping Saturday!!: I know I gush about her a lot, but that’s b.. #
  • 22:35 P to the orn. #
  • 00:42 Henry broke my pinky (originally spelled ponku) toe. He better heighten his senses because retribution is a bitch. #
  • 01:29 Now when Henry says NO 2 something I wantsobad, I remind him that he basically amputated my pinkie toe. Monday the iron maiden gets dusted. #
  • 01:53 Gee, I can’t wait 2 go 2 the cemetery tomorrow for a walk-OH WAIT THAT’S RIGHT. I have a broken toe & SOMEONE thinks I don’t need crutches. #
  • 01:54 Did you KNOW that I have a broken toe? #shehasabrokentoe #
  • 01:58 Perhaps if Henry had gone out & scored some morphine like I asked, I’d be able to sleep right now instead of having unilateral conversations #
  • 10:16 Mistake #1: telling Chooch about my toe. Mistake #2: not reacting quickly enough as he went to inspect it. #
  • 12:53 what’s a bitch gotta do to score some shrinky dinks these days. second thought, don’t answer that. #
  • 12:55 “Yellow Balloon” – The Lolliwinks, or anything in Capt Kangaroo’s catalogue. #bestsexsong #
  • 13:00 On the real though, Dillinger Escape Plan’s “Phone Home.” #bestsexsong #  
  • 14:00 w/ Halloween so close, u should enter this skull-tastic giveaway from GrimVision! #
  • 14:27 Henry and Chooch just left and seriously if they don’t back with a gift for me, I’m looking for a new family. Could it be YOURS? #
  • 14:33 @awoodhick I’m hopping around picking up after you. There’s something wrong with this picture. #
  • 16:12 My mom was able to make a smooth segue from my broken toe to Obama bashing. Christ, she’s talented. #
  • 16:21 Janna said sneakers. #
  • 16:29 I wonder why I can’t stop listening to the Used? What a stumper. #
  • 18:14 I like how everyone’swalking around, flaunting their ambulatory prowess in my face. #
  • 18:28 With all the typos I’ve shit all over the Internet today, you’d think I was typing with my broken toe. Maybe it’s these restrictive gloves. #
  • 18:30 @katyhardy couldn’t agree more about Thrice. i just bought my tickets on friday for the pittsburgh show! #
  • 21:52 Hay look @ the dumb! Sometimes Things Happen At Target.: Most of Saturday was spent with Ali.. #
  • 12:04 Chooch just said, “Janna loves to pee in my potty” which is so true, except she cheats on his potty with every potty she passes. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter. Now you can rest easy, knowing my (sometimes incriminating) inner-most thoughts, actions and tampon-change. Please do not call the FBI.

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