Feb 13

valentinian musings

Category: Photographizzle

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"What are you going to do for me for Valentine’s Day?" Lady Brown Pants asked her skinny long-legged partner. "Will you drape beautiful icees around my turkey neck like you did in 1986?"

Skinny Long-Legs considered climbing over the railing for a second or two before answering. "No, I think I’ll torture you with some nipple clamps and bang your sister. She’s not dead yet, is she?"

"I want an egg cream," offered Feeble Cane User.

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This is Henry’s final year to do something amazing for Valentine’s Day. I don’t care much for expensive gifts and French dinners, but I’d like something more than, oh I don’t know, nothing. I feel like he gave me a Hershey’s bar last year which was kind of insulting, but the fact that I can’t remember probably means he didn’t get me anything at all. Maybe if he had stopped by Walgreens and picked up some foo-foo old lady perfume to go with the imaginary chocolate bar, it would have been a different story.

Since I work nights, I think we’re going to try and get someone to babysit for us this weekend and I swear to god if he takes me to fucking Denny’s, he’s a dead man.

I want to do something wild and erotic, like hide in a trench with aborigine blow darts (the solution to everything) and shoot city cops in the neck as retribution for all the times they violate traffic laws.

Henry said he’ll care more when I finally grow up, whatever that means.

11 comments

11 Comments so far

  1. elaine February 13th, 2008 2:49 pm

    I took Tery to Denny’s on our first date, which was her birthday. I, too, have been unable to live this down after 15 years.

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart February 13th, 2008 3:36 pm

    Don’t get me wrong — I do love Denny’s. They let me substitute a Boca patty on any of the burgers on their menu!

    It wasn’t our first date, but it WAS the first place Henry took me to eat. He bought me a grilled cheese.

  3. Syd February 13th, 2008 8:15 pm

    That picture is really neat. Is it from your Holga?

  4. Tuna Tar-Tart February 13th, 2008 8:19 pm

    Yes, it is! Thank you. I love that fucking camera. Second only to my Diana.

  5. Syd February 13th, 2008 8:51 pm

    You have a real eye for this stuff! Keep posting them.

  6. Bueno Mexicana February 13th, 2008 9:25 pm

    your stories are little rays of sunshine for me.

    i hope henry steps it up.

  7. Tuna Tar-Tart February 14th, 2008 6:21 pm

    i’m glad that someone reads my gay stories. thank you!!

    henry has been super nice lately. i think he’s scared of me straying again.

  8. merrymerry February 14th, 2008 1:51 am

    I love this image.

  9. Tuna Tar-Tart February 14th, 2008 6:22 pm

    Taking pictures of strangers is my favorite thing.

  10. Alyson Hell February 14th, 2008 7:46 am

    “and I swear to god if he takes me to fucking Denny’s, he’s a dead man.”

    *cracking up*

    Would Eat N Park be a good substitute?

  11. Tuna Tar-Tart February 14th, 2008 6:23 pm

    Eat n Park would be acceptable if it was for dessert only! They have good dessert.

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