Tweets: Team Coco

 Earth-shattering updates throughout the day, brought to you by Tart-Tits. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

• 16:39 I’m elbow-deep in a mix CD for Alisha and it feels nice and cleansing. Making mixes is one of my favorite things to do. #
• 18:48 Sitting in Taco Bell while Alisha writes a verbal thesis on drapes. #
• 19:57 I was going to say that I might be the worst wii player ever but then remembered that Alisha is playing too. #
• 21:01 Me: I hate this game because I can’t cheat. Alisha: I LOVE this game because you can’t cheat. #
• 21:40 I love Canada. #
• 23:12 Fleury!! Way to not take that shit! I love it when goalies get scrappy. #pens #
• 23:51 PENGUINS! I’m so worked up, there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep after the game ends. I love these late games. #Pens #
• ***
• 10:24 I am an entire floor and two rooms away from the radio in my bedroom, but there’s no mistaking the distinctive intro to Whitetown. Holla. #
• 11:44 Succeeded in offending someone, as usual, on Facebook. You’d think after 10+ years some ppl wouldn’t bat an eyelash at my antics anymore. #
• 12:37 I want to give Callie from The Real World a big fat hug. #
• 14:10 The only way I can please everyone is by hiding who I really am and that’s just lame. Not doing that, no apologies. Fake people are dumb. #
• 14:24 Dear Twitter god, plz pray that the job training I’m going to tomorrow isn’t too good to be true. #
• ***
• 14:21 Well. I apparentally have a job-thing. #
• 14:27 And the first thing I thought was: Now I can donate to Haiti! #
• 15:16 Someone should come take my son for a few years. Hours, I mean hours. #
• 18:25 The first thing I do in the morning is say fuck that shit. #
• 19:55 It’s stupid how much I like data entry. It must be all that missing responsibility attached to it. #
• 22:13 Would have been amazing to see a Fleury/Luongo matchup but we have faith in you, Curry! #pens #
• 23:02 If I could maybe convince Henry that all these years his citizenship has been a farce, then will he marry me? I wonder. #
• 23:13 Omg this goalie sitch would be funny if it wasn’t happening to a team I love. Bring in the 19 year old! #
• 23:26 “Boo the #Pens got a goal, now they’re only 45 goals behind us!” STFU Vancouver. & Luongo, I like u but not when ur imitating my 3yo. #NHL #
• 23:58 No one in the training session today thought to ask how much we’re getting paid. It can’t be any less than what I’m already making. #
• 23:59 Which is, you know – NOTHING. #
• ***
• 00:45 I hate it when girls are on Silent Library. There – one more thing for the book you’re not writing about Erin R. Kelly. #
• 10:47 I love how Henry forces me to get a job and then bitches when he has to do things around the house now. Asshole. #
• 10:48 To be more specific, I asked him to FEED THE CATS OMG! But he’s watching TV! Oh noes! #
• 11:03 “Love Will Tear Us Apart” will always remind me of my Canadian mistake. #
• 15:37 My blog stats have been spiking lately, which makes me believe I’m about to get in trouble for something. It’s not easy being this paranoid. #
• 16:16 At Alisha’s. Evonne brought her Psychic Circle and has invited us to join a coven. I could use some witchiness in my life. Stfu Henry. #
• 18:21 Just spent the last hour being ganged up on and given a deadline for a book outline. I’m scared! And tired. Very tired. #
• 21:42 And that’s the LAST time I offer up my phone so the cat can call her father. #
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• 01:15 I’m really into stripes. But not Westerns. #
• 10:24 The plea for someone to take my kid is still on the table. There might be blood on that table now too, though. #
• 11:42 a nice girl found me interesting eno ugh to feature on a website. you should check it out! awholelotofwhatever.com/?p=688 #
• 14:50 I almost forgot what panic attacks felt like. Welcome back to my overwhelming world, old nemesis. #
• 19:13 I’m working until the new iCarly comes on, and that’s IT. #
• 19:51 I miss miscegenation. #
• 21:18 So far, I have decided that I want my book to be “large.” And I wrote my name in the notebook I’m using for the outline. Exhausting day. #
• 22:43 Good old Further Seems Forever. #
• ***
• 00:03 Dictionary.com tells me “glutes” is a word, so get choked, #wordswithfriends. #
• 09:41 Seeing Kara & her cute baby, I had a fleeting desire to have another kid. Then I took a good hard look @ Chooch & changed my mind. Quickly. #
• 11:29 Chooch wanted me to make him a grilled cheese. I whimpered through the whole process. #
• 14:56 I just found the perfect wedding invitations. So whenever you’re ready, @awoodhick. You asshole. #
• 15:27 Today, I miss Elliott Smith. #
• 20:39 Brent Johnson is the MAN. #pens #NHL #
• 20:47 How The #Pens Got Their Power Play Back. #
• 21:00 It’s hard, even for me, having conversations with someone who’s ignoring you. #
• 22:13 Hat trick for Malkin; 6 point night for Crosby. When the #Pens are on, they’re ON. #
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• 11:38 Chooch is getting his first taste of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. #
• 13:45 I think I need to take a seminar in productivity. #
• 16:33 About to meet my older sister for the first time omg. #
• 20:15 Meeting my sister was surreal yet awesome. We have much in common & I’m excited to learn more. Thanks to all who wished me luck! #
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• 00:32 Joss Stone is my own personal chalkboard scratcher. #
• 11:07 Just walked in on Chooch struggling to put on one of my camisoles. #
• 11:12 #pens / #caps game tonight. Feels like Christmas! I love Ovechkin, but tonight the “Obitchkin” nickname reappears. #NHL #
• 11:15 This is the stuff that should get people interested in NHL & maybe forget football for a second: www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=513677 #
• 12:18 I’m trying to work while the obnoxious sounds of the Fresh Beat Band quickly kills my sanity. #
• 13:05 ALISHA JUST ADMITTED SHE MISSES ME. Hello, diary entry! #
• 17:49 I can’t eat with Alisha watching me ugh! #
• 19:49 I feel like I’m watching a playoff game. Even Alisha was like “hey I want to be like my idol Erin & watch the #pens game tonight!” #NHL #
• 20:51 Thank you, Threeormore!! #pens #caps #
• 23:54 Oh, Conan. #
• ***
• 09:45 When Chooch says, “I have something really important to tell you”, I flinch. #
• 10:19 I love that today’s Urban Dictionary word is “Leno giver”. #
• 10:31 Chooch wants you to please stop calling it Raisin Bran, for Christ’s sake. Everyone knows it’s Raisin Brains. FUCK. #
• 12:21 Anything from the freezer that requires heating in the oven will be retold later as “When I was slaving in the kitchen….” #
• 13:51 I am for real trying to do way too much with my days; you’d think my life was just given an expiration date . #
• 15:01 I find that listening to the Flashbeagle soundtrack while working really ups productivity. #
• 16:07 Henry’s ringtone is so intense, it makes me clench and expect Jean Claude Van Damme to dive thru my window, with explosions in his wake. #
• 20:36 Alisha and I are pretending to be Pitt students at the Pitt/Duquesne hockey game. #
• 20:41 Yeah go Pitt! i need to find a player to latch onto. yfrog.com/35uebdj #
• 21:12 Alisha just thought Pitt got a penalty for splashing and I’m like, “Yes exactly.” #
• 21:40 Alisha and I shared a sink in the restroom. Now we are BEST FRIENDS. #
• 22:32 Alisha just said, “it’s safe to say that I don’t have any other friends who would say the things you say.” good/bad? #
• 22:46 I hate #19 Urso for no reason other than he’s short. A short prick. Fuck off, Duquesne. #
• 23:12 Yay Pitt! Why do I care?? yfrog.com/1yzasdj #
• 02:22 Watched The Tonight Show twice and cried both times like Conan is dying or something. I hate when I project my emotions! Unbecoming. #

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