Last night I found out that Giada from the Food Network knows about polenta and evidently likes it enough to have recipes about it. That was enough to win me over. I know lots of people hate her because she’s a Bobblehead, but ever since I watched her Chef Biography, I evicted a few people* from my heart to make room for her.
I thought Henry was feeding me some kind of orphanage staple at first, and I’m too proud to be eating like the poor. Then I read that in Northen Italy, it’s more popular than pasta! I like Italy, the northen parts too, so polenta MUST be alright. As long as hobos aren’t eating it, too.
Feeling inspired, I called up my pal Google and after getting the obligatory "Remember when we were in ‘Nam" chit chat out of the way, he helped me find this recipe and I think I might burst if Henry doesn’t make it.
That Blueberry Banana Polenta Thing
2 very ripe bananas
1 cup corn flour (maybe *fine* ground corn meal, at your own risk)
1/2 cup whole wheat flour (might add wheat germ to increase fiber)
2 T. honey
1 T. Succanat (or 3 T. Succanat and no honey for vegans)
1/2 cup water (or use *nonfat* milk, juice, or soy moo)
1 1/2 tsp. Ener-g egg replacer (or 1 egg white)
1/4 tsp. guar gum (optional)
1/2 tsp. baking soda (or slightly less)
2 T. nonfat yogurt (this is needed to make the baking soda work)
1/2 tsp. cinnamon (or as much as you can handle, ie. more…)
1/2 tsp. cardamom (ditto)
1 1/2 cups blueberries (fresh)
Preparation: Mash bananas with a potato masher, add all remaining ingredients,
except for blueberries. Stir well. Lightly oil a small pan, or 8 muffin tin,
by dipping a paper napkin in a drop of oil and spreading this all over the
baking surface (or spray with Pam). Pour batter into pan (8" x 5") or muffin
tin. Sprinkle top with blueberries, the more the better. Blueberries won’t
sink to the bottom, so you have to press them down if you want to get even more
of them in. Bake at about 400F for about 25-35 minutes, my guess. Serve warm.
This will taste quite rich, the warm melted blueberries get runny and yummy!
Ok, so mostly for me this is like reading a recipe in ancient Ukranian script, but I see operative words like "blueberry" "honey" and "banana" and that’s all I need to crown a winner. And also some shit called Suckonnat which is now masturbating my curiosity, thanks.
I couldn’t find a photo of this magnificant heap of fruity cornmeal, but I bet it still turns out looking like it just shot down the Devil’s steaming asshole after a late night smorgasbord of chipotle Aborigine bowels and refried lepers, much like this delicious polenta plate with runny fungus slopped over top pictured below. Probably it will be blue diarrhea at least.
*Henry and my mom.