Mar 172019

I’m really happy right now for a totally 100% vain reason and I don’t even care, I’m still going to write about it on here because IT’S MY LIFE (not to be confused with the seminal 1980s synthpop classic by Talk Talk).

But first, a story.

When I was a teenager, there was a clothing store in Oakland called Avalon that I loved to shop at. It has long since turned into a shitty second-hand chain (if it’s even still open at all?) but in the 1990s, it was a haven for skaters and goths and the in-between people like me who just liked to wear some outrageous pieces. I got so many crazy Elvira shoes & gogo boots there, and a long black skirt that said “Bitch” all over it, plus my favorite pair of overalls that I left in a hotel room in Australia.

(I was super into clothes before I became poor/had a kid/got depressed.)

One time, I bought this fucking gorgeous Lip Service blazer with dragons embroidered all over it. I was a pretty average weight at 19 (125-130 pounds) but I remember trying on the only size they had (a Small) and it was pretty snug. I bought it anyway because it was too cool to pass up.

I only wore that thing one time because it was so tight and uncomfortable that I was afraid I was going to bust through it like some kind of Hulk wannabe (apropos for my temperament). The night I wore it, to a birthday dinner for Lisa at the Office Lounge, I ran into one of my mom’s friends in the parking lot of my apartment complex. I guess she called my mom and mentioned the blazer because she thought it looked expensive because the next day, I got a call from my mom asking me about the “Oriental blazer” I was wearing the night before and how much did it cost. Lol — my mom paid my American Express back then and I always made her super nervous. (Like the time I used it to “invest” in some Internet Mall Ponzi scheme – HOO BOY that one almost got me disowned.)

Um, back to the blazer – it wasn’t EXORBITANT but it was definitely around $150, probably, so I never wanted to get rid of it, even though I just seemed to get fatter and fatter over the years, the possibility of ever wearing it again getting farther from my reach.

Today, something made me fish it out of the back of my closet and not only did it fit, but it fit correctly. There’s actually room in the arms now! And it buttons easily! I was so excited that I made Henry verify that it looked ok and then I commanded Chooch to take pictures because I just needed to see it to believe it.

Look, I know it’s not cool to lose weight just to fit in smaller clothes or whatever and that is not why I have been diligently exercising or watching my diet, but this blazer is like, symbolic to me because it represents a really great time in my life and to be able to put this thing on again and actually wear it instead of hiding it in my closet makes me so happy, but it also really proves to me just how hard I’ve been working and how much it finally shows.

Chooch and I are on the last two weeks of the Jillian Michaels Body Revolution program and I can honestly say I didn’t think we’d be able to hang this long into it but here we are, doing scorpion push-ups and fitting into small goth blazers from 1998. I am pretty proud.

When you take direction from a 12-year-old photographer.

I might sleep in this tonight. Don’t judge me.

  10 Responses to “Small Victories!”

  1. Oh, Erin, this made me tear up. Is that absurd? I don’t know! Lol. But I’m HAPPY for you. That’s a great feeling to fit into something from the past that was always too tight. I know, because I have felt that feeling. You have so much to be proud of. xox

    • Thank you, Rachy! Part of me feels weird posting pictures, and I hesitated a lot, but I do hope that it could inspire someone else out there because I struggled for so many years! I never thought I’d see the day where I finally feel comfortable in my skin, it’s weird!

  2. i love this for so many reasons: S/O to 1998, that blazer is GREAT, and i FEEL your ecstasy – i just bought size 12 pants for the first time in my adult life, and that is a great feeling. NICE WORK who cares if it’s vain!

  3. You look fantastic and it sounds like you feel just as great as you look! Those Jillian Michael’s workouts are no joke, high freakin’ five to you and Chooch! I’ve used the 30-Day Shred that I can stream on my laptop from Amazon Prime, but I haven’t tried any of her other videos. Is this series by her available like that, or is it DVD only?

    • Thank you! I do feel really great and it has become so much more than just weight loss for me. Just being able to make it through these workouts and seeing what I’m capable of now has been so cool, and it’s really rewarding to see that it’s also instilling a love of fitness into Chooch! I never used to be able to make it very far into Jillian workouts in the past but having a workout buddy has made me stick with it! I’m not sure if Body Revolution is available to stream but if you can find it anywhere I recommend trying it!

  4. You look AMAZING!!!! I am so proud of you!

  5. I just read an article that said it’s bad to compliment people on their weight loss and/or tell them they look fantastic due to their weight loss. Because it equates beauty to weight and that is bad. And now I don’t know the politically correct way to tell you that your consistency has paid off big time, and you look absolutely amazing. This is just fucking killer all around and I say fuck yeah to you.

Say it don't spray it.

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