Mar 172008
 

When he asks me to be more specific about the obvious.

"Henry, where are my keys?" I have two keys: house and car. They’re bound together in holy matrimony by the power of one keychain.

"The keys to….?"

"The titanium vault where we keep all the Nazi bodies and velvet satchels of rubies. The car, you fucking asshole."


When he’s vague when the question warrants specifics.

 

"What are you making?"

"Dinner."

"But what is it?"

"Food."

  7 Responses to “Things About Henry: That I Hate”

  1. Ha! Hey, I learned a while back while working at a nursing home that the answer to “what are you making for dinner?” is always “food”. If you tell people what you’re cooking, they have exactly the amount of time from when you tell them until you serve them to decide that they HATE whatever it is.

    It’s a defense mechanism. It’s survival.

    It drives my kids crazy. :)

  2. The thing that made me laugh most about this is the title. Not “Things about Henry that I Hate.”

    Things about Henry: That I Hate.

    *laughing alone*

  3. henry is my BoIIIIIIIIII!!!!

    i should have a things about henry that i love post:

    COOL SOCKS
    FREE BEVERAGES
    TASTY FOOD
    (SOMETIMES) FUNNY
    HE LIKES KOOL-AID, well did as a child.

    AND- generally, he’s kind and patient.

    ok. you can puke now.

    OH YEAH!!! AND HIS BRIEFCASE

  4. haha, I used to do that to a former boyfriend, it drove him crazy…

    him = what do you want to eat?
    me = food
    him = what kind of food?
    me = the edible kind

Choose Your Words Carefully