Jan 302020

These bulletpoints are brought to you by: lack of sleep, Fran Drescher’s bray, and the Korean letter ㅊ which always reminds me of those weird twig-person things from The Blair Witch Project which, coincidentally, I made a bunch of several years ago when I decorated my co-worker Mitch’s office with a “Blair Mitch” theme for Halloween and several of my work friends kept the twig-things as a souvenir of my Halloween Reign of Terror so I see them every day.


(See also: this blog post.)

  • On Monday, Blake texted Henry and told him that the coroners were on our street, pulling a body out of a house. Chooch didn’t have school that day so I started bombarding him with texts because I was freaking out, man. He was about as interested as you’d imagine a 13-year-old with a brand new iPhone 11 and Nintendo Switch might be. He sent me a picture of the forensics truck in the neighbor’s driveway and left it at that. All Henry and I could figure was that it was the house next to Hot Naybor Chris’s, where Chooch’s buddy lives with his grandparents, but there are two other units in  that house, so an older woman also lives there, and this mysterious girl who looks like she could be in her mid-20s or 40s, because, well, drugs. We also have suspicion that she was providing various, you know, services. Just last week, the first responders were there but it didn’t seem like anything major happened so we stopped peeking out of the window and WOW I AM BASICALLY JUST LIKE MY AUNT SHARON AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. Anyway, I begged Henry to text Hot Naybor Chris, who immediately called him and knew nothing because he hadn’t been home all day, so he said never fear, he’d send his wife to question one of the residents (provided she wasn’t already busy yelling at people for taking her parking spot.) She reported back the next day that it was the girl, and she OD’d. FUCKING DRUGS. I am so pissed off about this. It’s extremely disconcerting knowing that someone died in that way only two houses up from us, and yet life goes on. So fucked up. I didn’t know her, and only saw her several times over the summer when she would run across the street in see-thru dresses and jump into the car of whatever John was there to pick her up that evening, but it makes me feel super depressed.
    • Speaking of sadness and depression, I’ve definitely got it because I spent a good 90 minutes on Sunday crying violently over the death of Kobe Bryant, and you need to know that I was not a fan of his, and basically ambivalent toward him in general, but the news alert rocked me in a way that I cannot explain which is how I know that my heart and brain were looking for a reason to cry it out. Sometimes you just gotta cry.
  • The one thing I was looking forward to all weekend was Cafe Day with Chooch and Henry, and Henry even said I could interrogate him for a Henry’s Coffee Klatch-type of blog post, but then the combination of my heightened sensitivity (see above bullet) and Chooch’s teenage mean streak made me have an emotional break down while waiting for our coffee at Reginald’s, which was really Sad Times because that place was cute, the seasonal latte choices were unique (I got the winter spice, which had ginger, cinnamon, orange zest and “more,” whatever that means, but it was fucking delicious and not overly sweet or syrupy), and my friend Chris’s honey was available there! Oh well, maybe we’ll go for a do-over sometime soon and leave Mean Chooch at home.

  • Speaking of coffee though, the day before, I had my weekly meeting with Jiyong at Panera. Henry drove me there because we needed to go shopping in that area afterward and you know, One Car Family. But now that he’s on the precipice of coffee addiction, he decided to come in with me and get a cold brew. I think Jiyong initially thought he was going to stay there the whole time and maybe she was contemplating charging for Korean lessons now that it was turning into more of a classroom, but I was like, “NO HE IS NOT STAYING, EW!” because no way. While Henry and I were standing in line to order, I noticed that there was some type of friendly exchange going on with the guy who was ordering, the cashier, and the people in front of us, but I couldn’t figure out what was happening and Henry is deaf and oblivious and also  too distracted looking at the pastries, so he was no help in my investigation. Anyway, after we placed our order, we found out what the commotion was: some dude left his change with the cashier to pay it forward, and apparently the people in front of us decided to pass it on to us and HENRY ACCEPTED IT which I think he should not have because we didn’t NEED to use it and I very quickly became overcome with guilt and dwelled upon it for the remainder of the day.
  • Guys! Suddenly, I like basketball:

I’m so excited that G-Dragon’s in America right now!!! I had a dream two nights ago that he was my boyfriend and it was the sweetest, most pure dream ever and I was in such a great mood the whole next day. Apparently, they even played his song “Superstar” during the game and he was cutely embarrassed I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

  • We’re in the thick of our “busy season” for serial killer Valentines, so I told Henry I would make my own dinner in order to keep him chained to his work station, making cards. But “making dinner” started with me turning on the kettle to heat water for some instant noodle cup thing and then whining because it looked unsatisfying so Henry was like, “put an egg in it” and I was like, “OK you do that” and then I exchanged places with him and now he’s in the kitchen enhancing my bland Whole Foods instant pad thai thing OK never mind he just brought it out to me and he somehow managed to make it worse, so cereal it is.

In other news, I have been very diligent with reading since I set my goal at the beginning of the month! Since tomorrow is the last day of January, I think I will do a quick recap of the books I read this month. Speaking of, I AM GOING TO GO AND READ MORE OF MY LAST BOOK FOR JANUARY!

Say it don't spray it.

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