Apr 022020

When all the days blend together like the art therapy watercolor I should probably start painting in order to curb my insanity, do weekends even really count anymore? Still, I woke up on Saturday and was like, “YAY WEEKEND!” because that means Henry will do stuff around the house.

(I’m glad he has a job, but not too stoked that he’s considered “essential” and has to leave the house everyday.)

Well, here are some highlights, because there’s no use in being big whiny bitch babies when we still have our good health (knock on all the wood).

Chooch has been really into destroying the kitchen cooking and baking, and who am I to stop a growing boy from exploring his culinary interests? Especially when I reap the rewards, like the delicious veggie burger he made FROM SCRATCH. It was the best veggie burger I’ve ever had this side of the Impossible one.

God, what else happened on Saturday? I’m sure lots of screaming. And I probably read until I got a headache.

That evening, I made Henry help me go over some of the Korean vocabulary that I learned in the beginning of my textbook because I didn’t study most of them enough to really memorize them because I’m 40 can’t remember how to study anymore.

Henry was, really something. Apparently he can’t read my handwriting and was basically just saying yes to everything but he did say no once and I nearly flipped the table because it was a word I was confident about but turns out he just can’t read.

Then I asked him to write the words in Hangul on a whiteboard paddle but after watching him struggle through two of them, Chooch was like OH FOR GOD’S SAKE and took over. Thanks, Chooch.

(Chooch can read & write Hangul fairly well!)

The korean language will probably be the death of me but goddamn I sure do love it so much.

Then we were going to watch a movie but instead I fell down the slippery slope that is MTV’s The Challenge highlight reels on YouTube. GUYS: we haven’t had MTV in 2 or 3 years, since cutting back cable, and it is the ONLY thing I miss about TV.

Henry used to watch this watch with me too so we were both steeping in the nostalgia like two raunchy reality tea bags. It is how I learned what a carabiner is!

(As I write this, Henry is searching for ways to get MTV without adding $$$ to our cable bill haha.)

SUNDAY was so heartbreakingly beautiful! My lord, nearly 80 degrees and blue skies in March, yes gimme.

I wanted to go for a walk and clearly parks and trails are out of the picture these days so I suggested our favorite cemetery in the North Side which almost never has other (living) people in it but by the time we were getting ready to leave there were SIX of us and that is A LOT for Uniondale!

Still, we were diligent and aware and never got close at all to anyone else. When you turn it into a game, it’s kind of thrilling.

Meanwhile, HNC texted me and asked me if it was OK to namedrop me in the letter he was writing to the landlord about Slut Life. Oh please do, I replied! Then he asked if I wanted a copy of it and oh my god do I.

I have three cameos in the letter! I was so excited! Henry, conversely, was much less thrilled that he was also mentioned when HNC insinuated that Henry likely shared the same sentiments. He does not want to be involved in this AT ALL.

Penelope looked out the window. We watched more The Challenge nostalgia videos and tried not to have panic attacks. Maybe that last part was just me. I’ve been having to say, “JUST BREATHE” to myself a lot to get my heart rate to chill the fuck out. It’s fine.

Oh! And Chooch made these chocolate oat bar things that looked a hot mess but were very delicious. At least some good things are coming out of quarantine.

If you’re reading this, I hope you and everyone you love are doing well and hanging in there. I am so afraid of dying, or having someone close to me die, that I can’t do anything else but shove my face in a book to avoid the news.

Be safe, guys!


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