*Fun Fact: I spell quarantine wrong every single time.
So this was supposed to be a Friday Five but then Friday came and went and I was too lazy to care. But here are some pictures and words about things that happened last week in case years from now I need to look back and remember exactly when it was that I fed a squirrel bread and apples, but you never know, because this one time recently, Henry and I were trying to remember the name of a restaurant we ate breakfast at when we went to see The Cure in Maryland in 2016 and I was like, “Hold on I’ll check my blog” and you guys, I NEVER MENTIONED IT IN MY BLOG. That literally almost never happens! We checked Yelp and everything, looking for “pancakes” in and around Columbia, Maryland, to no avail. Thoroughly invested at this point, Henry went through all the charges in our bank account from around that time until he finally found it and you would think by now it would be ingrained in my head and I’d have ordered a t-shirt with their logo on it to wear as a night shirt, but no, I’ve forgotten it again.
Anyway, things happened last week! They weren’t ground-breaking, but they were nice memories. So here we go.
Chooch made delicious snickerdoodles in the kitchen and he was so stoked. “My first bake job in the new kitchen!” he declared, but still couldn’t be bothered to fully clean up his mess afterward. New kitchens don’t totally change a person, I guess. But damn, these cookies were great. I think it helps that he’s no longer using an oven from, well, probably the 80s so it’s kind of ironic (always use this wrong) that the oven was one of the things that got the ax when we started our 1980s Dream Kitchen makeover.
I really did feed a squirrel though! I’m not sure if they’re the same, but last Friday during my lunch break, I noticed that Drew (a/k/a that_cat-bambi on Insta) was acting all weird at the window, and then I realized that there was a squirrel on our porch and he was TOTALLY trolling her. I mean, he was literally playing peek-a-boo with her around one of the porch columns, it was hilarious. So I threw him some bread and an apple and then went outside to talk to him while he was eating. He was so brave and cocky! I actually started to worry that he was going to push his way into my house, so I came back inside and closed the door.
There is something about wildlife in my front yard that brings out my inner Snow White and I have to drop everything (even a baby if I was holding one which why would I ever) and feed them.
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Gotta take care of my pals. I do fear the day they try to push their way into my house, though. They’re bold little chubsters! (I can’t tell if it’s the same squirrel or if the first one went back to the treehouse and told his buddies “hey go to the house with the rainbow fence—that lady’s a sucker. She’ll give you all her food!”)
Anyway, the next day, either the same guy or his buddy came around so I fed them another course and it made my heart burst with happiness.
What else. Last Friday after work Henry and I had to go to Ikea and so far during this pandemic, it was the most people I’ve had to be around and even still, it wasn’t much, but my heart was racing. At least Ikea brings out the demographic of people who aren’t anti-mask assholes, though. And Henry got sexually assaulted by a male cashier who accidentally closed the gate to the one we were in and it smacked Henry’s ass.
“There, I got him for you,” the guy said to me. Ikea is a riot.
Saw this incredibly weird sign last weekend. REALLY EXCITED for August 1!
Now that I started an Instagram for Penelope, that’s all Chooch and I do all day is try to force the cats to do cool things for the ‘gram. Unfortunately for me, I got the cat who is extremely difficult to photograph because she mostly just sleeps in really ugly locations most of the day and then when she actually is up and about, she moves as soon as she sees me lift up my phone.
Anyway, Chooch and I managed to catapult both accounts so that we now have way more followers than Blake’s cat and we’re so smug about it but Henry said we’re mean girls and he acted disappointed in us because Blake is his favorite son.
I had to lure Penelope onto my painting desk with treats and she gave me approximately .0002 seconds to snap this pic after she finished chewing.
Saturday night before I went to bed, I was sitting on the couch and noticed that Chooch was standing by the beverage buffet. I figured it was because Drew was over there looking out the window and that he was trying to get a picture of her, so I didn’t think anything of it. Then he turned around and was like, “Um….” and he had this silicone shit all over his hands. I shrugged and was like, “Don’t look at me. Go ask your dad.”
So then I went up to bed while Chooch was in the kitchen trying to wash it off. I still didn’t think anything of it because I don’t know what that shit is, and it wasn’t on my hands, so why should I care? Just then, Chooch came barging into our bedroom and Henry was very thrilled to have to get out of bed to assist Genius Son in removing his new silicone skin from his hands. He came into our room looking like he had on Mickey Mouse gloves, it was great. “He’s lucky we had paint thinner in the house or he’d have to live with silicone hands!” Henry yelled. (Actually it was more of a mutter; Henry never yells.)
Also, this was a great reminder to put harmful household things away because 14-year-olds are just as dumb as three-year-olds.
This was also a great learning experience for both Chooch and me because I had no idea that stuff would be so hard to remove from skin??? But at least it has 40% more flexibility in case Chooch would have had to live with it.
Got some new books from the library during the week!
I had to do some more friend weeding over the past week because if you seriously can’t understand and get behind the notion that BLACK LIVES MATTER, if you seriously don’t understand that the sentiment is not diminishing the value of OTHER lives but rather stating that ALL LIVES cannot matter until BLACK LIVES MATTER TOO, then why are we even friends in the first place? It’s one thing having values and morals that vary from others in your lives, but this is one that I cannot negotiate with and cannot make or accept excuses for. So good riddance to bad apples. Let’s stop politicizing a person’s race and skin color, for god’s sake.
I think the highlight of last week was ordering take out from our favorite veg restaurant, Zenith, on Thursday. As soon as I saw that they had their famous tofishy sandwich on the menu for the week, I was like WE ARE ALL IN. This is my favorite thing from Zenith (well, besides their sickeningly divine vegan bundt cakes and eccentric collection of antiques).
OK, I think this is it for now. I have a long day of more kitchen projects – WE ARE SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE! I’m really happy with the way things are turning out and I also won an eBay auction Friday night for this one item that I had in mind since we started talking about redoing the kitchen and if Henry can make some magic happen with it (see also: take my fantastical conceptual ideas from my brain and turn it into working reality) then I might actually publicly declare my love for him.