Apr 072008
 
  • Someone took a nice big shit in the bathroom right before I went in, so that was a thoughtful, and very fragrant, "Welcome Back from the Weekend!" gift.
  • There’s some man who pukes in the mens room every day. It’s kind of anthemic.
  • Bob started a new job today. He still sits two seats down from me, but he works daylight now. When he logged off his computer at 5:00pm and said, "Have a nice night guys," I kind of died a little. Who will I exchange juicy celebrity gossip with every night now? Who will serve as a diversion the next time I stalk someone here? WHO WILL TELL ME WHAT MOVIES TO ADD TO MY NETFLIX QUEUE? I am so abandoned.
  • Big Bob is listening to the Pirates game with one ear bud in, and when he occasionally turns around to give Collin an update, he doesn’t realize how loudly he’s talking and I’m blasted into the atmosphere by the sheer volume of his exuberance.
  • I feel like I don’t have enough decor on my desk.  I guess now that this is a Girls Only Zone (Collin moves to his new big boy cubicle tomorrow), I can:
    • string up a garland of tampons,
    • fan out episiotomy literature, 
    • talk about ovaries and placenta at my leisure,
    • squirt breast milk into Kim’s cube and she’ll retaliate by chucking a Nuva Ring at my head, and 
    • FINALLY hang up my poster about yeast infections which I stole from the gynecologist’s exam room.

  8 Responses to “Work Stuff”

  1. I walked in to the bathroom today (I stayed until 5) and had the luxury of meeting Tina there. She proceeded to chatter while covering up the plop plop plop of her clone army executing the order number 66 assault on the toilet. I am devastated for life. :(

  2. People with headphones talking unnaturally loudly. I don’t know why it’s funny but it is.

    • I used to travel with my aunt a lot when I was a kid, and she was notorious for doing that on the plane and people would turn around and stare. Embarrassing for her, funny for me!

  3. Wow! I want to come hang out in a ladies only zone and talk about ovaries and yeast infections! Right the fuck ON!

  4. you miss bob like i miss Pelvic Exam-
    your poster made me think of that.

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