Dec 232021
 

Annyeong. I have been so scattered lately. Like, I’m running on nervous energy and Kombucha, mostly. Every time I sit down to one thing, I’m on to something else within minutes. I can’t tell if this is adult ADD or a manic bipolar upswing or just, well, Erin being Erin.

So today we’re free-forming it because I’ll be honest, the last several blog posts have been torturous for me to write because I cannot stay focused. I know what you’re thinking: But Erin, this piece is always a mess. And you’re right, it really is. So, never mind.

We’ll start with a picture of THIS BLOG’S AUTHOR in her Dance Gavin Dance Cocaine Cringefest sweatshirt. Jingle, jingle, who’s ready to mingle? No one. Thanks, OMICRON.

I’ll just walk around the city telling chickens that I’m pretty and I’d love for them to meet my wife.

FOOD, PART 1

First, let’s talk about food. I had some good foods lately, starting with my night out with Carrie and Megan at The Forge.

We started off with this CHEESE PLATTER and a round of BARTENDER’S CHOICE drinks. I told the waiter, who was killing me all night with his familiar face, that I liked floral notes, and he said, “Wow it just so happens that we make our own lavender syrup in house” and I was like, “Yes, that will do.” So I got a purple drink with vodka and lavender, which was a true delight and it was all I could do not to slurp that bitch down like a basic juice box.

Also, I do not drink much anymore so this went straight to my head and I ended up spending most of the dinner just silently nodding along with everything Carrie and Megan were saying because I was afraid I’d start scream-speaking because vodka.

Anyway, it was so nice to see these broads!! In case you don’t know, we are part of the same team at work and used to sit in a row with each other back in Normal Times, so it was fucking awesome to see them in real life after nearly two years (though I did see Megan last October when we did that shitty volunteering thing through work ugh).

I hate this picture of me SO MUCH because of my GLASSES but when I got someone else to take another one, that one ended up being WORSE because I was BLINKING and somehow the “live” option was turned off in my settings! I never turn that shit off!!

But the other gals look great so I am posting this.

Also, I’m wearing glasses almost exclusively until I can get an eye appointment because my contacts are just wrong. So very, very wrong.

Also x2, Henry drove Megan and I to the Forge that night for two reasons:

  • we had taken the good car into the shop to get fixed (it’s back now, btw! you can’t even tell that “Henry” wrecked it! Also, the owner of the auto body place liked our car so much so that she went out and bought an identical one lol. Hyundai Kona FTW!) and I hate the old car because it shakes so if it breaks down, at least Henry is there lol;
  • I literally cannot drive at night with glasses. I mean, I can barely do anything with glasses, so.

I yelled at Henry after we dropped Megan off because he was being rude and he was like, “I wasn’t being rude. You guys were talking so I just let you talk.” YES THAT’S BEING RUDE.

Anyway, I realized in the middle of the night that I didn’t actually know the waiter, he just looked like Ted from Schitt’s Creek.

Oh! I also had the vegan shawarma which was DIVINE.

FOOD, PART 2

Onion Maiden had limited quantities of their Seitanic Ritual platter: fried seitan cutlet that tasted like how I remember veal to taste, or was it pork, I can’t remember meats; corn; mashed ube & vegan gravy.

It was, in a word: DIVINE. Like, had me speaking in “backwards record,” it was so good. So good, that I’m trying to get Henry to make mashed ube for Christmas. We’ll see how that pans out. Lol.

Yeah, and then this effing vegan cheesecake that I stupidly agreed to “share” with Henry, ugh. That was a bad decision.

FOOD, PART 3

A Christmas pint pick-up from Sugar Spell!

Every single flavor is bangin’ as usual. The Yule Log one is probably my favorite, if you’re going to make me pick one, because there is just something so indulgent about Sugar Spell’s chocolate base. You would never believe it was vegan!!

Anyway, after we taste-tested every flavor, I realized that we didn’t get the PB&J one. I looked up the order to make sure I had it on there, and I did but I guess they accidentally gave me gingerbread instead. Which was fine! We weren’t shorted and I was just as happy with the gingerbread, but Mr. Warehouse Manager was like, “You need to tell them.” And I was like, “Yeah but it’s not an issue – they didn’t overcharge us or anything and it’s not like we can ‘return’ the gingerbread since we already ate some?” and he was like “BUT YOU NEED TO TELL THEM FOR INVENTORY PURPOSES!” God, leave it to Henry to even make ice cream boring.

(Yes! I told them! God!)

CHOOCH THINGS

Wow, parenthood has been RULL exciting over in these parts lately.

Let’s start with the fact that Chooch came home one night last week and casually said, “Oh yeah, my Spanish teacher was talking about this study abroad program and I want to do it. Thanks bye.”

But then also Chooch: I lost my student ID again. Have you seen my wallet? I can’t find my credit card. I missed the T. I forgot my face mask. I broke my Rubik’s Cube, can I return it? Can I have money, I spent all mine on Pokémon cards. Where is my work visor?

So…you tell me, am I stupid for entertaining this idea? The organization has been around since the 40s and they have a great Covid policy (all applicants & host families must provide proof of vaccination, for instance), it’s also fully-refundable if the trips need to be cancelled or postponded based on pandemic travel concerns. He can get a merit scholarship for it, and they’re also very generous with financial aid. So, I told him to go ahead and try for it. The trip he’s trying for is to Yucatan and it’s for 4 weeks next July. He can also get 4 college credits out of the deal and it’s something that will look nice and pretty on college applications, and he needs as much application padding as possible.

My favorite part of all of this was finding out how little Chooch knows about me, as evidenced when he texted me from school while filling out the application. “What is your occupation again? Stock broker?”

UM, NO??? I have no idea what would have EVER given him that idea? I have worked in the conflicts department of the same international law firm for nearly 12 years, but OK cook on with your stock broker fantasies, boy. He’s gonna wish I was brokering stocks when it comes time to pay for this shit and we can’t afford it lol.

I joined some Zoom meeting for this program the other night to get more information, and this is what happened in the chat:

Fuckin’ Army.

Meanwhile, there are several essays that need to be written in order to apply for financial aid. I was proofreading one of them and THANK GOD I did because this was an actual line from one of them: “I used to not care about people at all, but working at McDonald’s has taught me to be kinder to strangers.”

UM HELLO SOCIOPATH. And also, McDonald’s taught him that? Not his parents? OH OK.

I definitely rewrote that for him because ain’t no one trying to send an apathetic loner boy (which he isn’t!!) on an international trip with other students. For Christ’s sake. Cant wait until he starts his volunteer work!

Then Corey and I had this text exchange right after, lol:

#HollyJollyHenry

Here is a photo I took of Henry last weekend when we were Christmas shopping, ugh. He was so mad because this was set up right by the food court and although you can’t really tell,  there were a lot of people milling about so Henry was like TAKE THE PICTURE, OMG JUST TAKE IT. A few days later, the actual mall liked it on Instagram, lololololololol.

ME WITH GLASSES

Um, here I am with glasses. I probably haven’t worn these since Korea 2019, when I had The Eye Injury. I do not know what this face is but I know that I make it a lot.

THINGS I HAVE BEEN WATCHING

I have been watching the new season of Emily in Paris because sometimes a bitch just needs simple to watch while jogging in place on an imaginary treadmill, and Bonus Family which is a Swedish dramedy, plus about 7 other shows that I started and lost interest in pretty quickly. (See above re: adult ADD.) I randomly put on the first episode of The Originals the other day and I did not remember a single thing about it, so now I’m questioning if I even watched that show back when it was on because I thought I did?!?!

MY SUPERVISOR SMOTHERS ME

Making sure I’m getting all my stock things brokered. Also, that plate on the floor is a tea cup saucer, which I use to serve the cats their treats and then the plates stay on the floor for Henry and Chooch to accidentally kick like flat, breakable soccer balls.

IN OTHER NEWS…

  • Henry finally hung this beautiful poster from the time Corey and I saw the Cure in Philly in 2008. Actually, I think I found this online and made Christina buy it for me LOL. The Cure corner is really coming along and it makes my heart swell every time I go upstairs!
  • I’ve been rotating through “Alexa play [random country] pop music” every day in order to block out the sounds of the TERRORDOME next door. I swear to god those kids are devil dogs. It’s just incessant screaming and crying all day, every day. One day it sounded like they were actually burrowing inside the walls and I felt legit frightened.
  • Emily was working on a marketing campaign for leeks on Emily In Paris and it made me want leeks so I texted Henry and told him I want leeks incorporated into our Xmas dinner menu and he was like, “I can do that” and for some reason that came off sounding super cocky, like OK CHEF BOYARDICK, calm down. Now I don’t even know if I want leeks anymore.
  • We drove past some Irish club thing over the weekend called Daughters of Erin or something stupid like that and I said, “Imagine if I had daughters” and Henry very quickly said, “No.” Wow.
  • One of my coworkers, Marlene, retired earlier this year but we have been emailing here and there. I got an email from her today telling me that I better take umbrellas for my Christmas pilgrimage to the Dead Zone, and it just made me simultaneously crack up and cry because I miss the office so much and since covid, two of my coworkers have retired and two more will be retiring at the end of the month. It just sucks that we can’t even give them a proper send-off, but have to make due with waving goodbye via an awkward video call where you can’t get a word in edgewise. But back to Marlene, she is always fascinated with the way I choose to spend my holidays, especially Christmas, so her email really made me laugh.  But yes, I miss the Before Times when we’d be in the office right now, giddy and slacking off, mowing down a line of Christmas cookies and having drinks in the old travel office. Working from home is awesome, but these are things I really miss.

I think I’m tapped out. Hopefully I will be back tomorrow with a SPECIAL GUEST POST but only time will tell.

Say it don't spray it.

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