Jan 122022

Yo Brenda I’m really excited to tell you something today: sometime last month, I finagled Henry into doing low impact walking workouts. He is very picky about the ones he will do: No Gina B., but he does enjoy himself some Leslie Sansone. However!! The one he seems to like the most is MY BOY, Pittsburgh’s Own PAUL EUGENE.

It must be the matching beards.

In the beginning, he looked just like he does in that photo up there (also my arms are 100% not that thin, that is one hell of an iPhone optical illusion), but gradually he has begun to enjoy it and actually is motivated! He doesn’t act like I am forcing him to do it anymore and he even PUTS FORTH EFFORT!

And I’m excited to announce that starting January 1 (what? cliché you say?), Henry has been doing Jillian Michaels’ Body Revolution workout series with me! This is my 4th time doing it (I only officially made it the whole way through twice though) and can attest that it is a wonderful kick-start if you’re trying to make physical changes to your body. It has made me feel SO STRONG and by the end of the program, I was able to do rock star jumps and all kinds of other crazy shit that I never would have imagined possible. (Still suck at push-ups, but there is this one version called the wheel pushup where you get into a back-bend position and do push-ups that way and somehow I was able to do those and felt like a motherfucking Ninja Warrior, bitch.)

I am extremely stoked about this because you guys – Jillian is my queen and also because Henry admitted to me the other day that he likes it! Even though I’m very annoying and quote parts of it like it’s a movie I grew up watching every night on VHS, but he hasn’t yelled at me to stop yet! I have made gentle suggestions over the years that he joins me when I’m exercising and I always get the “I MOVE AROUND ALL DAY AT WORK, MY JOB IS NOT EASY” and I get that, I do, but I also think that there is something to be said for good old-fashioned strength  training and cardio workouts. You know? I’m not fucking bikini body, TRUST, but a regular exercise regimen has really improved the quality of my life. And I’ve seen it change Chooch’s life too, and I want Henry to be the healthiest version of himself as possible!

We are almost done with level 1 & 2 and will be starting 3 & 4 this weekend, and I’m so excited that he’s made it through the first two weeks! The beginning is the toughest part, but as Jillian says, “If you have a WHY, you can tolerate any HOW.”

I’m so stoked about this that I even quickly considered switching professional gears and becoming a life coach, lol, can you imagine? Me? Coaching people on their actual LIVES? No one can fully control what happens in life, any one us could get hit by a bus tomorrow or garroted by the modern day Ted Bundy, but at least we’ll die with the knowledge that we could do a burpee.

LOOK HOW MOTIVATIONAL I AM. I’m going to put that on business card.

We still do Paul Eugene on our Jillian “off” days. Henry enjoys Paul Eugene workouts so much that when I said, “I’m going to buy us Paul Eugene merch. Which color do you want?” he actually took some time to peruse his options. Chooch came downstairs and when he saw us wearing our fresh PE merch, he shook his head in embarrassment, said “No,” and then went right back up to his room. SOMEONE’S JELLY. Maybe I’ll get him a shirt for his birthday. AND THEN WE CAN WEAR THEM TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK TOGETHER! I always wanted to go to an amusement park in matching outfits.

Say it don't spray it.

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