Oct 082022

Today is apparently National Haunted House Day so I guess it’s a good day to share some pictures of the haunts we’ve done so far this season!

Last week, we went to Haunted Hollow on Friday, and Infernum In Terra on Sunday, the latter of which has solidified itself in my short list of faves now that I’ve had two amazing experiences there in a row! Here are some pictures, first from Haunted Hollow:

I mean, he had the option to stay home but he CHOSE this.

I’m excited that it’s flannel and beanie weather – my favorite Henry OOTD!

This Beetlejuice did a great job projecting his namesake’s sleaziness, that’s for sure. I have never been called sweetheart and touched so much by one stranger in…well, it’s happened before but it’s been a while, lol. This place was OK. It’s a walk-thru, a non-scary hayride (it’s basically just a mode of transportation to get you to the outdoor section), a trail, and a very small corn maze. We had fun but I wouldn’t be pushing people out of the way to get back in line, if you know what I mean.

I didn’t realize until later that Chooch was using an ear of cob (given to him by a scare actor in the maze as a prop), lol. It’s actually still sitting on our kitchen counter.

The next one is 100% worth the drive to WV (not that far from us, actually):

Look, one day one of our descendants will be thankful for all these dumb selfies. MAYBE.

I wonder what selfies will be like in the future…

They had a really long debate about how to scale a barbed wire fence, how tall the ladder would need to be, the probability of breaking bones upon landing – it was all very boring for me. I need to make some friends.

But yeah, all the details are in my HAUNTED HOUSE JOURNAL as usual but this one is incredible. When it comes to my style of haunted houses, I’m all about the cozy October feels, the 90s nostalgia, the perfect blend of giddiness and fear and this one checks all the boxes. It reminds me of the ones that used to be a dime a dozen around Pittsburgh in the 90s – at the YMCA, firehalls, abandoned schools.

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I’m not trying to say this is hokey or cheesy – just that they put more emphasis on the scare actors (they all seem like high school students) than some fancy Hollywood set design with no one in the room to scare you.

I loved it! The highlight was when I couldn’t bend down to walk through a corridor/tunnel that had one of those damn black inflatable things lining the top, so I dramatically fell to my knees while screaming, “MY BACK HURTS I CAN’T DO THIS” only to be face-to-face with a “dead girl” on the other side who broke character and laughed at me.

Then last night, we went to Crawford School of Terror!

We’ve been going to this one since it first debuted onto the scene several years ago (I think we missed one season) and I can honestly say that this one gets better and better without selling out (well, it’s definitely seen a bit of a price inflation since the early years, though, I’ll tell you that much!).

It used to be $15, according to my haunted house journal! And last year it was $20! It’s hard for me to say if *any* haunted attraction is worth this much but I will tell you that I walked out of there not fussing about the admission price at all because it was SO FUCKING GOOD.

Henry waited outside since it was more expensive this year and we have our Newark (ughughugh) trip in a few days. Thank god one of us is economically conscious. But really, when you’re a family who is really into haunted houses and tries to go to as many as possible every season, it gets extremely expensive. We’re not poor BUT WE AIN’T RICH either.

You guys. This was the first one is A WHILE that had me so scared at one point that my heart was galloping, and I actually walked through the last portion of the three-level school with my hand clamped firmly over my chest, chanting, “OMG OMG OMG.” Lol. I’ll just tell you that there was a hide and seek portion. And there was a song playing. And there were no lights. And, that song. OMG that song. :/

You know they did it right when we came out and Chooch strode right over to Henry and started telling him stuff about it. You know, Mr. “IDK I Guess Mmm”? He actually had a lengthy verbal review!

This is another great example of a place that stacks their haunt with kids (mostly kids, some adults) who put their whole-ass heart into it. And the rooms are decorated SO WONDERFULLY! I don’t think there was a single room that didn’t have a scare actor in it, nor was there a single room where I didn’t scream my face off. I love this place SO MUCH and was so amped on the way home that I actually declared that I would consider going back there again – IN THE SAME HAUNT SEASON. That almost *never* happens unless it’s Castle Blood!

Fuck all those commercial cash-grab haunts that pay for the “Scariest in America!” title. I’m done with Hundred Acres Manor, been done with Scare House (save for last year when I had a temporary lapse in judgment), and I’m even over Demon House because while at least there is a Groupon for this every year so it’s not that expensive, it just doesn’t live up to the hype or its potential. They have such a great space and what they *do* have set up inside the house is cool, but then it just gets really boring/lame/anti-climactic. Like, there’s an entire clown portion that never gets updated and it is sooooo dumb. But I do like their ticketing system where they give you a group number so you can roam around, get food, watch a horror movie in the outdoors theater, sit by a fire, and wait for your group number to be called.

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So much better than waiting in a fucking line. I HATE LINES. I mean, who loves them? Find a line-lover, and there’s the real monster right there.

Well, this is getting rambly and Henry has some chores that I need to supervise. I will be back with more haunted check-ins later on in the month!

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