Sep 272010

If this looks more like something you’d want to motorboat and less like something that’s sucker-punching your gag reflex, then read on.

I love pie. For years, I’ve wanted to have a pie party but usually complacency sets in and I put it on the backburner.

But then Henry made an avocado pie for my mom’s Labor Day cookout and it was smooth as silk, tangy, rich and to be honest, I just closed my eyes and smiled while thinking about it. He even made a citrus-tinged whipped cream which he plans to slather on the next avocado pie he makes.

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Which hopefully will be on October 10, 2010 for my first annual to nothing PIE PARTY.

It’s going to be held at a pavilion in South Park, and the invitation is open to any local person reading this who has a propensity for pies (or anyone who likes pies enough to travel to Pittsburgh!). I’m trying to convince Henry that we really need to pay extra to be able to have alcohol at the park because I can’t imagine spending an autumn day outside, eating pie, with NO MULLED WINE to wash it down.

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Actually, I’ve never had mulled wine, but Alisha always talks about it like it’s her own invention, and has subconsciously convinced me that I must have a big steaming vat of this. I think she should make it in a cauldron. Alisha – we will discuss this soon. Look out for my telegram. Bring your decoder ring.

If we’re not friends on Facebook, here is the official event notice:

A Pretentiously Perplexing Pie Party

Sunday, October 10, 2010

2:00PM – 6:00PM

A Pavilion in South Park, TBD

Please pop a squat with me beneath a pavilion on a (hopefully) pleasant autumn day, plunging plastic ware into a plethora of piquant pies.

Please present one (1) pie for passage; a paltry price to pay for a party pinioned by prestigious proclivity.

Pursuing pies of all persuasions! Palatable produce, pungent pasty, puzzling pot pies.

Leave all picky palates at the plantation and come get your piper pied!
In other words: let’s eat the crap out of some pies.

I’m having my mom make her amazing butterscotch pie, you guys. It could anally rape you and you wouldn’t even notice it, it is THAT good.

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And I might be cajoled into baking the only pie I’ve ever baked in my life (not including the raw pumpkin pie that left my ex-boyfriend with a persnickety duodenum): a succulent pear pie.

If you would like to attend, please let me know! Even if we’ve never met before, what better way to say hello and swap saliva than with chunks of cherry pie falling from our mouths like the remnants of that Civil War reenactor we cannibalized last Arbor Day?

  23 Responses to “A Proper Pie Party.”

  1. This sounds like pretty much the coolest thing ever, so as long as I’m not going away that weekend, I will be there, pie in hand.

    Otherwise, let’s go to (anywhere but) Zippy’s again soon! Maybe some place without self-loathing plumbers!

    • I would be so happy if you could come!

      And yes – let’s hang again soon. I just got my last check from the temp agency last week, & won’t get my first real paycheck from the law firm until the 22nd, so I’m broke until then. Unless we do something cheap-o, like coffee!

  2. aw, man! I’d love to have some pie…this avocado pie sounds really interesting, too. Can you post the recipe?

  3. I just heard a debate between two comedians on CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation – state sponsored television and radio, which is one of the perks of living in a socialist leaning country).

    The debate was which is better, cake or pie. Pie won. It was funny. Funny like being anally raped by a pie… I think that would be funny.

    Oh, I don’t know anymore.

    I got to get off the internet.

  4. Holy fuck, that’s on my birthday!…and Pittsburgh is seven hours away.

  5. I am so, SO tempted to make the 3 hour drive to the Pitt for this. If my morning sickness has passed by then, there’s a good chance I’ll do it, too!

  6. I wish I lived closer! And Avocado pie!!! Where’s that recipe?? I lurvs me some pie!

  7. I’m going to see if I can talk Eric into camping in PA that weekend and show up at your party.

  8. I wish I lived closer. This sounds like a lot of fun. What a great way to get people together.

    Stopping from Mom Loop!

  9. Oh, erin, how I wish I was in Pittsburgh to attend this fantastic event!!! I’m with you on pies.. i love pies.. and i would also like to attempt henry’s avocado pie recipe! I have never heard of such a pie!!!!

    please make sure to take lots of pics of everyone’s pie!! i love food porn :)

  10. I hope this Pie Party goes awesomely so you have it again next year when I will be living in Pittsburgh!!

    • You’re moving here?! Oh my god, be prepared to be invited to all of my shitty parties!

      When are you moving?

      • I’m hoping to get down there in April or June, Mike needs to finish college down there. I’m so excited to be invited to your parties. I have been wanting to meet you and go to your game parties; are you still doing those?!?

        • Absolutely! I try to have 2-3 game nights during the colder months. It would be super cool to meet you and someone new to hang out with. Will you know anyone else here? I’d be more than happy to show you around and stuff!

          • I know no one there. So now I’m really excited to have someone to meet and hang out with. And yes I will take a tour of Pittsburgh any time.

  11. Wait! I lost my decoder ring!!!!! BUT i have JUST the cauldron for this occasion!

Say it don't spray it.

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