Sep 292010

Last week, I was walking away from the school, having just retrieved Chooch, when I heard a series of “Mrs. Robbins!”s coming from the school steps. It didn’t dawn on me until the third call that the teacher’s aid was actually yelling for me, the decidedly non-missus.

I responded awkwardly and unnaturally, because, well – that’s just not my name.

On Monday, the same thing happened. This time I responded after hearing her call it twice.

I considered correcting her, telling her that it’s MISS KELLY, thank you.

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But that’s just as weird to me, because this non-marriage thing is kind of like my pet stigma, and I drag it around everywhere with me on a leash. Just bought it a new collar, actually, in a pretty shade of non-commital.

Oh, I know, I know – no one cares, it doesn’t matter, blah blah blah. Says you. I don’t care what other people think.

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  It’s what I think.  The end.

This morning, Henry and I were talking about this in the bathroom. That’s where all the good conversations happen. It’s also where I tried to kill him one time.

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Anyway, I was whining about it (I know, try really hard to imagine that one) and Henry asked, “What’s the big deal?”

“It offends me!” I cried. “And just so you know, if we ever get married, I’m not taking your name anyway.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Henry muttered.

“I’ll use it as my opportunity to have my last name legally changed to Appledale,” I said, the idea just then coming to me. “Will you change your name to Appledale too?”

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Henry grumbled, leaving me in the bathroom alone. I shrugged and turned my attention back to putting on eyeshadow.

  12 Responses to “Names: a conversation”

  1. Blah to people who assume your married just because you have a kid. You probably should correct them now because it will most likely happen for the rest of his school life.
    I had alot of people ALWAYS ask when we were going to have a kid after I was married because apparently that is what you are suppose to do right after marriage.

  2. Man, that’s frustrating….it really is the woman’s decision. I’m taking T’s name, but not because it’s expected of me. I seriously considered keeping my own for professional reasons, and I know a ton of women who do.

    On a side note, I do like the name Appledale…

  3. I sort of get it but from a different direction. When my older three kids were little I had to put up with a lot of guff from schools and doctors offices because their last name is Johnson. I actually asked their asshole bio-dad if I could adopt them and then the $30,000 in child support he was behind on would go away. He said no even though e saw them maybe twice a year for six hours at a time. It didn’t matter that I was the full time father I always got questioned about why their last name and mine was different.


    Of course now they are all adults, one is married and one engaged, and as far as they are concerned I’m their dad. So I win!

  4. When we first got married, I tried to convince Paul that we should change our last name to “evils” or even “evals”. I mean what’s changing one letter? He said his dad would be mad. Sigh. Maybe I should try again

  5. Some people have serious one track minds and can’t see outside of what they know. Screw them.

    No one should be made to feel like they are being judged for choices they make, especially when there is absolutely nothing wrong with them.

    Also, Appledale totally gets my vote.

    And finally….I’m giving you a blog award! Please stop by to check it out:

  6. So this teacher didn’t read the paperwork, and that’s her bad. Our world is not like her world, in which happy families all shared names, and la dee dah. And really, she should know this and not assume.

    I would’ve been offended, too.

Say it don't spray it.

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