After taking in a matinee of Burnt Offerings from our Netflix instant queue, Chooch must have decided he better squeeze in some age appropriate programming, because the next thing I knew, the house was filled with the Blue’s Clues theme. This particular episode ended with Blue and Steve performing the cyclone experiment.
“I want to do that,” Chooch said.
“I kinda do, too,” I decided. Luckily, we were able to catch Henry right before he left work and he grabbed two empty Faygo bottles.
Chooch was so excited. He even found a funnel in the bread drawer; I didn’t even know we had a funnel. (But I did know we had a bread drawer, amazingly enough! We never keep bread in it though.) But then of course Henry came home and his testosterone pills made him hijack our project.
“We don’t need that,” he said, batting away the funnel.
“Yes we do! Steve—-” Chooch started to cry, but Henry had already filled up one of the bottles directly from the faucet. Then he grabbed a roll of electrical tape and began wrapping a long length of it around the two bottles, joining them together at the spouts.
“Steve only used one small piece of yellow tape,” I pointed out.
“Yeah, but I’m sure there was more holding it together than just that,” Henry spat with indignance.
“No there wasn’t!” I cried. “We watched him assemble it from scratch!”
But Henry put it together his way, and then got to be the big man on campus as he flipped the bottles and gave it a quick shake, creating a cyclone in the upside-down bottle as the water flowed down.
Chooch, who had felt the need to strip down to his underwear for this experiment, was pretty captivated. I guess I was too, for a few seconds. I hadn’t done that since elementary school. I mean, why would I have done it since then? Although I guess I am enough of a dork to pull out some lame parlor trick like that in the middle of a kegger or one-night stand.
After all the fuss was over, I went upstairs to get ready for work. When I came back down, Henry was sitting on the couch, still playing with the bottles.
“Seriously?” I scoffed. “It’s not that great.” But he said nothing and flipped the bottles over another time, causing a brand new cyclone to be born. This is probably how he wiled away his days in the SERVICE while his buddies were strutting around in their fatigues, getting blow jobs: the cyclone experiment & baking brownies for the staff sergeant in his Easy Bake Oven.
I bet he’s at home doing it right now, when he SHOULD be getting his chores done.