Jun 13

Answers for Amber

Category: Shit about me

A mysterious commentor named Amber asked me some questions after I posted that meme thing the other day.

1.) If your life was to be made into a made-for-tv movie,  who would play you?

RuPaul, hopefully. Even though I’m a shortie. And white. With a vagina. And my hair is not nearly as fabulous. Wait, can it be animated? If so, Patty Mayonnaise, no questions.

2.) Who has been the most influential non-relative in your life?

I don’t know. I guess the writing teacher I had in eleventh grade, Mrs. Mercalde. I never took writing seriously (not like I do now), but I took two of her classes as electives, just for the hell of it. I don’t know what kind of crack she was smoking, but she liked my drivel and encouraged me to keep doing it. Of course, because I’m a stubborn asshole, I didn’t write for like, five years after that. But she’s the reason I keep haunted house journals.

3.) If you had to eat one food item/menu item for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Flax seed.

4.) Your cell phone, your home computer, your mp3 player. Pick one and tell us why?

MP3 player, duh. How else could I jog in the cemetery to the soulful melodies of Norma Jean and Horse the Band?

5.) Where do you get these super-creative ideas for your stories?

The stupid pictures people send me, retaining sentence fragments I hear throughout the day, and the rest is stream of consciousness.

That was fun, let’s be doing it again soon.


7 Comments so far

  1. Bueno Mexicana June 13th, 2008 8:29 pm

    oh man!!! i want to be in your animated movie!!!!!!!!

    thank you mrs. mercalde… especially if she’s the reason for your haunted house journals…

    i wonder how well flax seed will act as a hair gel.

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart June 13th, 2008 8:44 pm

    You can be Slimer.

  3. Bueno Mexicana June 13th, 2008 9:29 pm


    i was thinking more along the lines of alvin the chipmunk.

  4. Amber June 13th, 2008 9:00 pm

    Holy shit, you really answered them! Thank you, you rock!

    PATTY MAYONAISE!! I’m dying!

    So wait. If I give you a picture, you’ll write a story?

  5. Tuna Tar-Tart June 13th, 2008 9:52 pm

    I like answering questions, it helps pass the time! Thank you for asking them. :)

  6. Bill June 14th, 2008 8:42 am

    Mrs. Mercalde? I always assumed you got your writing inspiration from Family Circus creator Bil Keane.

    Also, let me give a thumbs up to the “Patty Mayonnaise and Slimer Adventure Hour” animated joint. So much potential!

  7. Tuna Tar-Tart June 16th, 2008 5:20 pm

    I had to give ONE serious answer, Bill! Geez!

Leave a comment